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My friend was raped and completly blames herself…

Basically, one of my best friends was raped on Saturday night. We were at a Birthday party and we both got very drunk. At some point a guy got her to leave with him and then forced her to give him oral sex.
She told me on Sunday. And it was extra casual (which I thought was weird, but who am I to say how someone’s supposed to deal with these things?). Of course my reaction was you need to call the cops, report this to someone! But she disagreed. She said that she simply needs to learn from the situation. I said learn what you didn’t do anything. She said she needs to learn to be more aware and less easily to trust. But that’s not true. This guy just needs to learn how not to be a rapist.
Her parents found out that night, because her brother came to pick her up and she started crying and told him, he did the right thing and told their parents. But her parents didn’t do the right thing. They didn’t take her to the hospital or the police station. The lectured her about being safer, completely blaming her.
Obviously, I’m upset about this for two reasons. One, my best friend was raped. Two, her and her family by into everything they’ve ever been told. It wasn’t her fault, but they think it was. She has to learn nothing, but they think she ...

TV shows that Solidify my own Father’s Bigotry

I have literally never been so angry in my life. My heart is pounding and I feel like I’m going to cry. And I don’t get angry.

This is all because my father is watching a show on TV (I couldn’t hear the name or the channel and I couldn’t find it online either, sorry). The entirety of the show was dedicated to explaining the evils of homosexuality and how all homosexuals are ruining America. Everything they said was either 1) blatantly false, 2) just plain homophobic, or 3) crazy ridiculous. For example: because of anti-workplace discrimination laws all stores that sell Christian items will go out of business. Because they are now being forced to higher gay people, and ...

I have literally never been so angry in my life. My heart is pounding and I feel like I’m going to cry. And I don’t get angry.

This is all because my father is watching a show ...

Should I Feel Violated?

Last week a very good friend of mine, “E” was moving into a new apartment with his girlfriend and another guy I know, “C.” I volunteered to help because I have a truck. I ended helping C, because most of E and his girlfriend’s things were already at the apartment. The moving didn’t take very long and since we were all already at the apartment we decided to hang out.
E and his girlfriend went to bed around 10:30, so C and I were left alone. I didn’t really want to leave yet, so we watched a movie. While it was playing C came and lay down behind me (we were on a coach). This initially didn’t bother me because ...

Last week a very good friend of mine, “E” was moving into a new apartment with his girlfriend and another guy I know, “C.” I volunteered to help because I have a truck. I ended helping C, ...

My Mother the Mail Order Bride

I just finished reading the article written by a mail order bride, Lara Loeb Samhita posted on the main page earlier today. And while I’m happy that Loeb’s experience turned out good for her, I noticed that most of the comments were one of two extremes. 1) I’m glad this worked out for you/ you’re amazing/ etc. or 2) mail order bride websites are evil/ bad/ degrading. All of these comments are a pretty far evaluation of the article or the practice itself. But one comment in particular really got to me; it was basically comparing mail order bride services to human trafficking. These two things are not the same at all! My Mother was a mail order bride and ...

I just finished reading the article written by a mail order bride, Lara Loeb Samhita posted on the main page earlier today. And while I’m happy that Loeb’s experience turned out good for her, I noticed that ...

Hey Ladies! Put that Dessert Down!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately (I’ve no idea why), so I figured I’d share it with all of you and see what you had to say about it…
Restaurant commercials (the ones that feature customers, at least) all have one thing in common: coffee drinking mothers laughing at their silly dessert eating families. Now, I had never really noticed this until my mother pointed it out to me, saying that it bothered her. This was a big deal, because my mother is borderline anti-feminist and for something sexist to bother her is major, so I started to watch. These commercials always feature a mom, a dad, and one (sometimes two) kids. The mom is always extremely well ...

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately (I’ve no idea why), so I figured I’d share it with all of you and see what you had to say about it…
Restaurant commercials (the ones that feature ...

Marriage and why I hate ultimatums.

I hate the boyfriend ultimatum. The “if you don’t marry me, I’m leaving” one. This ultimatum always seems to come up (about) twice per year, once at Valentine’s Day (yeah I’m late, but whatever) and again when girlfriends are talking about another girl, whether she be there or not, who’s in a long term relationship. During February the ultimatum always comes up on talk shows titled: How to get Him to Marry You, not only are these episodes sexist, they are, in most cases stupid. But I can live with those; it’s the second case that really bothers me. I am in my early 20’s, so I know a lot of people who are getting engaged and married.

I hate the boyfriend ultimatum. The “if you don’t marry me, I’m leaving” one. This ultimatum always seems to come up (about) twice per year, once at Valentine’s Day (yeah I’m late, but whatever) and again when ...

Is Jane a code word for lesbian? Obviously the answer is yes.

About a year ago I was taking an English class that involved reading a story called “The Yellow Wallpaper.” For those of you who aren’t familiar with the story, it’s about a Victorian woman, Jane who has a nervous break down just after having a baby, which involves pealing off all of the yellow wallpaper from her walls. This is an early piece of feminist literature, as the breakdown she suffers occurs due to the way her husband locks her up in a single room. During the class discussion of this book feminism came up (obviously). And one man in the class (who had proved he was a misogynist previously) brought up a point: because Jane didn’t want to be ...

About a year ago I was taking an English class that involved reading a story called “The Yellow Wallpaper.” For those of you who aren’t familiar with the story, it’s about a Victorian woman, Jane who has ...

Feminist Boys, Who Are to Influences By Patriachy

So, I don’t know if this is the place for this post, but I feel that I need to write it, as it will make me feel better. Here it goes…
I have never been what the patriarchy would consider beautiful, or even pretty. I’m tall and white, but I’m not thin, my hair’s not blonde, my face is assymetrical, and I’m quite introverted (yes, extroversion is a big part of patriarchal beauty…because, hey, if you’re not the life of the party what are you worth?). But I’ve always been the smart funny girl; thus, (some) people like to be around me. And these are two things that I consider to be attributes, as they’re something I look for in ...

So, I don’t know if this is the place for this post, but I feel that I need to write it, as it will make me feel better. Here it goes…
I have never been what the ...