nattles_thing

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By nattles_thing • 14 years ago

Accountability

Crossposted to my blog.

An observation on what ensues in every single feminist argument about porn:

Anti-porn Feminist: “I’m anti-porn because my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/male friend watched a lot of porn and he did a horrible thing to me because of it!”

At which point I have to wonder when feminism became all about letting men off the hook for being assholes.

A decent human being of normal intelligence can watch lots and lots of porn, and, upon finally discovering that actual sex is not entirely the same thing, can accept that without being a dick. A decent human of normal intelligence can watch hentai rape porn without thinking that women mean yes when they say no. A decent human of normal intelligence isn’t going to go around copying everything he sees on TV.

And I’m sorry, but the problem isn’t porn. The problem is your asshole boyfriend.

I’m sorry, he’s not a “nice normal guy” who just happened to get afflicted with TEH PORNZ. He’s an asshole who just happens to watch porn. And he’d still be an asshole if we lived in a sad, boring society without porn.

Let’s try putting the blame on the asshole rather than the naked chick.

By nattles_thing • 14 years ago

How To Talk To Sex Workers About Sex Work

Rantiness crossposted to my blog.

Lately I’ve run across this idea quite a bit: Sex workers are rape victims.

It pisses me off.

I’m pretty new to sex work. It’s been a little more than a month since I went on my first call. I’ve dabbled in pretty much every form of sex work with the exception of stripping — I dance like a frog in a blender — and I can pretty honestly say that I have not been raped.

I’ve done porn. I’ve done S&M porn. I’ve cut back on the escorting — I didn’t want to work for an agency, and without an agency it’s not exactly safe — but I still have quite a few regular clients and I ...

Rantiness crossposted to my blog.

Lately I’ve run across this idea quite a bit: Sex workers are rape victims.

It pisses me off.

I’m pretty new to sex work. It’s been a little more than a month since I ...

By nattles_thing • 14 years ago

We’ve Examined. Now It’s Your Turn.

“But have you examined?”

This is a question that most kinky people have heard at some point or another. The answer is always, always yes.

When you realize you are significantly different from most of the people around you, you will always wonder why. This is human nature. Kinky people have almost all “examined” far more than their vanilla counterparts.

And I think that’s a shame. There are far more vanilla people than kinky people, and if anyone should examine the way society has affected their sexuality, it’s Team Vanilla. Vanilla people have the luxury of thinking that their sexuality is totally normal and that they don’t actually have anything to examine.

“But have you examined?”

This is a question that most kinky people have heard at some point or another. The answer is always, always yes.

When you realize you are significantly different from most of the people around you, ...

By nattles_thing • 15 years ago

Was Rihanna’s Privacy Violated?

Jezebel linked to this article the other day, and it made me think.

The article questions whether or not Rihanna’s privacy was violated by the LA Times. She seems to think that the paper was perfectly in the right when they named her as the accuser.

In the American Journalism Review, Geneva Overholser, Missouri School of Journalism professor and the Pulitzer prize winner for a series on rape, argues that “in the long run, we’ll never get rid of the stigma if we don’t treat these like regular crimes. … It’s just not ethical to make a choice about guilt or innocence, which is effectively what we do. It makes us look like we are assuming innocence on one part, guilt ...

Jezebel linked to this article the other day, and it made me think.

The article questions whether or not Rihanna’s privacy was violated by the LA Times. She seems to think that the paper was perfectly in ...

By nattles_thing • 15 years ago

Equal Objectification is Awesome

Every time someone brings out a sexy ad with a half-naked model and starts complaining about objectification, I find that I have exactly two complaints.

Excessive airbrushing makes me angry. Fine, go ahead, tidy up the hair and get rid of acne. But it’s completely unnecessary to photoshop a perfectly good body into a bobble-headed Barbie doll. American Apparel does very good business with a strict policy against photoshopping their ads. There’s no reason any other company has to go overboard. But this is a topic for another day.

My other problem, and the one I’m going to discuss here, is that the half-naked person is almost always a woman.

I don’t think that sexualization is demeaning or degrading. That belief is a ...

Every time someone brings out a sexy ad with a half-naked model and starts complaining about objectification, I find that I have exactly two complaints.

Excessive airbrushing makes me angry. Fine, go ahead, tidy up the hair and ...

By nattles_thing • 15 years ago

The Biggest Threat?

Something I’ve been thinking about:

In the feminist community, encouraging purity is bad, but so are photos of naked women.

I think one of the main divisions between the schools of feminism is which one seems like the worse threat. I am sex-positive third-wave because the chastity-pushers piss me off far more than any perfume ad with naked women. With the abstinence crowd, the judgment on those who fail conform to the ideal is very, very overt. If you don’t save yourself for marriage, you’ll get herpes and AIDS and abortions and you’ll never find a husband. Most of the time, sexy pictures are just sexy pictures.

To me, there is no problem unless the image or ad or whatever it is comes ...

Something I’ve been thinking about:

In the feminist community, encouraging purity is bad, but so are photos of naked women.

I think one of the main divisions between the schools of feminism is which one seems like the worse ...

By nattles_thing • 15 years ago

A Four-Letter Word

This essay has been floating around the internet since 2001, and I’m sure I read it a couple years back. I rediscovered it the other day and it’s still very powerful. It’s the best take on the sexual double-standard I’ve ever read.

Go read it.

Here’s an excerpt:

“Slut” is for kissing boys with tongue. “Slut” is for kissing lots of different boys with tongue. “Slut” is for craving kissing lots of different boys with tongue. That’s not right, you know. It says so in the Bible, and in social hygiene films. “Slut” is for loving sex. “Slut” is for needing sex. “Slut” is for thinking sex isn’t shameful. Sex is for married people, for diamond owners, for nice girls in twin ...

By nattles_thing • 15 years ago

Thoughts on Max Hardcore’s Conviction

Who hasn’t heard about this yet? Max Hardcore, a pornographer known for very violent degrading porn just got sentenced to more than three years in prison for obscenity.

I’m sure a lot of you are cheering. I think that’s sad.

There are problems with Max Hardcore, and I’ll get to those in a second. But the charges that got him thrown in jail are bullshit. I’m not saying this just because I believe in free speech, although that’s a lot of it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with his videos.

Who hasn’t heard about this yet? Max Hardcore, a pornographer known for very violent degrading porn just got sentenced to more than three years in prison for obscenity.

I’m sure a lot of you are cheering. I ...