You’re Too Pretty To Be A Feminist

Being a high school student, a girl who dresses girly, a girl who loves shopping and a girl who keeps up her frame, there’s no way she can be a feminist right? Well that’s what I’ve been going through Sophomore year when I finally decided to openly admit I was interested in feminism and to look more in it. I found out about feminism by coming across Feministing in a search engine but being a Freshman, I was trying to hard to fit in and when the upper classmen in the computer lab class started making feminist jokes, I closed the site immediately out of fear of being made fun of.
In my freshman year, I built up a reputation by being pretty and being hot that my appearance and how guys viewed me was all that mattered (especially the upperclassmen guys). For some reason my teacher told me that I was selling myself short and that she wanted me to embrace my intelligence and to find myself as a person. So she gave me the book Colonize This . I looked at it and said, "It’s my chance to probably actually understand where feminism is coming from and it’s a book about women of color!" But of course I didn’t show my excitement to my friends. I just acted like I was being forced to read it for summer credit and they bought it since as a freshman, I couldn’t stand school. So I ended up using my free time in the summer to read the book and I fell in love with (I’m a Junior and I still haven’t returned it to my teacher yet). That’s when I really did get where my teacher was coming from. I was selling myself short by just focusing only on my appearance and not my mind.

Sophomore year I was a different person. I didn’t care who made fun of me for my interest. I knew that my real friends would stay with me (and to this day they still respect my beliefs, many of them are feminists and don’t realize it). I wanted to take a Women’s Studies class that a teacher offered to the women at the school but I couldn’t because the class was full (and she mostly only accepted Juniors and Seniors) so I was pretty bummed out. In the 2nd semester, an alumni student was teaching a feminist class to introduce feminism to Freshman and Sophomore students. I wanted the class so badly that I took the crappiest math class on the schedule just so I could make time for that class and I loved it. But at the same time I didn’t feel accepted by the other students. During the first couple weeks I had gotten a lot of dirty looks from some of the feminists and class and every time I opened my mouth about how I felt about issues such as rape, domestic violence (both things I had experienced at the time), double standards, the media and body image, people would act shocked when I didn’t sound like a ditz. I felt, "Wow I know I didn’t have the best impression Freshman year but none of these girls know me so why do I feel a sense of judgement every time I come here?"
That was until one day I was talking to two of my friends about how much I loved the class. They almost seemed like they couldn’t believe I was admitting that I loved talking about feminism and gender issues. Finally one of them said, "Why are you thinking about being a feminist?" I asked her why shouldn’t I? Shouldn’t I be for something that has helped us be equals and something that is still defending us as young women? That’s when she said, "There’s a lot of reasons you shouldn’t be a feminist and here’s why." I still remember to this day what she said and here is the list:

1. You shave your legs and armpits.
2. You dress to impress.
3. You have a boyfriend and guys want you
4. You don’t hate men
5. You’re actually have sex (because feminists can’t get any I suppose)
6. And you’re pretty

The last thing she said still stuck to me. When she said I was too pretty to be a feminist I felt wierd about it. Was that the reason some of the feminists expected me to be dumb (since none of them knew who I was last year)? Was that why I had gotten shocked looks when they saw me in line to sign up? What does me being pretty have to do with my beliefs and where I stand with them? Almost what she said made me want to drop the class and go back to my old ways. What was the point of trying to expand myself to other things when people are going to view me as the pretty girl who doesn’t have to do anything but stand around and be eye candy. What made me stick to the class was when the teacher had told me that she’s excited every time I spoke and how proud she was that someone as outspoken as me that was willing to bring in new ideas was in her class. It was her comment that made me stick to the class and stick to being the new me.

Junior year was amazing for me. Not only did I get into the Women’s Studies class and love it (and my teacher and I had such a great bond). But I was able to prove myself to the other feminists in class that I was not just a pretty face, I actually had something to offer. I even had bonded with other feminists at my school that had went through the same, "but you’re pretty," stereotypes as well. Pretty much every feminist in that class felt like my family that semester. I knew I no longer had to prove myself as a true feminist when one day a girl told me that when she first met me she did think I was a ditzy person or a shallow person but I was actually someone she grew to respect and someone she wanted to be. It made me feel good that I was demolishing my stereotype. So much that my friend who told me I was too pretty to be a feminist finally gained respect for me and she even got interested in feminism! Later on I joined a Gender Studies class (which was open to males as well so I dragged one of my best friends along) and I was able to expand my intelligence to even more people so now my reputation for my Senior year has officially changed.

But the whole point of telling my long story is why is it that these stereotypes about feminism still live on? Why is it that every feminist has to lump into the same thing. We all have to be ugly, we all have to be hairy, we all have to hate me and we all are just women who are bitter because we can’t get a man (that or we’re lesbians). I may be only 17 but I have ran into so many different types of women that consider themselves feminists and I can honestly say many feminists are different in so many ways. Many of them even don’t fit the same beliefs and views and many have different takes on a lot of things.

Here’s the list of question I know me and my other women as thinking:

1. Why do you have to hate men to be a feminist?
2. Why do you have to be unattractive to be a feminist?
3. Why do you have to be bitter to be a feminist?
4. Why do you have to hate fashion and shopping to be a feminist?

These are the type of questions I wish I could ask the media and the people that enforce these stereotypes.