Feminism & Weight Loss

I’m trying to lose weight. After being informed by several doctors that my weight was impacting my health, I made the decision to lose weight – a significant amount of weight. (I want to be clear that this is about my health; I don’t want or mean to imply that overweight people are neccesarily unhealthy or that being thinner means you are automatically healthier. I haven’t ever been a very healthy person regardless of my weight, I’m trying to change that, and I want that to be clear to everyone who reads this.)

Weight loss is a touchy subject in the feminist community; posts about weight on Feministing illustrate this regularly. Negative comments include people who are hesitant to accept those who are overweight for fear of – I’m not sure, exactly, unless it’s fear that overweight people will somehow become a menace to society, no doubt perpetuated by common myths about being overweight. While these people have good intentions, however misguided and damaging, other people display outright hatred for overweight people, calling them disgusting, a threat to society, and portraying them as people who have no self-control, who could lose weight if they really just tried harder.

In reality, weight loss is tough. Remember that your weight is at least partially genetically determined by your parents’ weight, and factor in that when you gain weight, you also gain more fat cells, and that makes it harder to lose weight. Losing weight is usually portrayed by the media as easy and quick, while in reality, there is no quick fix. Yes, there are crash diets, but losing weight rapidly on a crash diet almost guarantees that you’ll gain it back just as quickly. The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to make major lifestyle changes and keep them, while slowly losing weight. This is a recipe for frustration and abandonment of goals.

Because we live in a society where the media influences body image, especially in young women, it’s necessary to be careful of who we define as overweight. So, I’m going to give you some personal information. About six weeks ago, I weighed in at 190 lbs. I’m about 5"4. I was wearing a size 14-16 in clothing. To some people that probably seems shocking, but to others no doubt it’s a familiar story. 50 pounds and one year ago, I was a size 8. I weighed about 140 pounds, although my weight regularly fluctuated 5-10 pounds higher. Then, I was put on a mood stabilizer (Seroquel) by my doctor (I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder a few years ago), and I gained about 20 pounds in 3 months. I went off the medicine, but the weight stayed on. Then, over the next four months, I gained about 30 pounds, partly from stress eating and partly from depression and lack of energy to exercise. Now, I weigh about 175 lbs. My clothing is looser, my knee and back pain are gone, and I have more energy. I’m happier with my body, although I wish I were accepted and considered beautiful no matter what my size.

If it were purely a matter of health, than I wouldn’t feel the need to write this. But it’s not. People have told me I’m thinner, complimented my recent weight loss; they have also made hurtful comments about my body, as if I am public property and they have rights to my body. They still make comments. Some of the comments are disguised as being helpful, as if I could possibly be unaware of my weight and appearance. These are more hurtful than the malicious, cruel ones, perhaps because they are cleverly disguised as concern. I want this to be about my health , but other people insist on making it about my appearance .

So where do I go from here? My weight loss goal is 50 pounds, or to be back at about 140 pounds, to be back down to a healthy weight and a healthy BMI. My other goals include eating healthier and exercising on a regular basis, and improving my overall health. I want to also be able to tell people that it’s none of their damn business what I weigh, that I am beautiful anyway, that my body does not exist for other people’s viewing pleasure. I want this to be about my health and happiness, not other people’s ideas of what’s acceptable for a woman to look like.