Anti-Feminist Women

“I am every day more convinced that we women, if we are to be good women, feminine and amiable and domestic, are not fitted to reign; at least it is they that drive themselves to the work which it entails.”
-Queen Victoria
Last week I saw that quote (ironically) used as a signature on a forum I sometimes go to. It got me thinking about why so many women hate having rights.
It seems like most anti-feminist women are women who already have all the opportunities they want. Queen Victoria, for example, lived in a castle where she bossed people around all day. I doubt, once she became Queen at least, she had to deal with sexism on an every day basis the way Elizabeth I had to either. She had nine children, who she didn’t particularly like, referring to pregnancy as the “occupational hazard of being a wife”. Her granddaughter-in-law Queen Mary took it a step further and called having children the “punishment for being a woman”. Perhaps if Victorian feminism has included reproductive rights Queen Victoria might not have hated it so much.
Modern anti-feminists tend to come in two shapes. The college-educated conservative women like Ann Coulter who would probably hate being cooped up in a kitchen all day yet hypocritically try to force it on other women. The wife in The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood is an interesting example of how these women might react to being put in a world of their own design. The second type of female anti-feminist is the happy housewife who likes cooking, cleaning, and pushing babies out of her crotch and can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want that life.
The first type would probably become feminists if they were forced to live in a world where women have no options. The second type are at heart well intentioned women who just can’t see the world through another’s eyes. I would like to be a stay-at-home mom someday, at least while my children are young. My mother stayed at home with me before I started school. Feminism is not trying to take away that kind of life, only to give women options should that not be what they want.
Being pro-choice shouldn’t just be about reproductive rights. I don’t want to force women to go out and get jobs when their husbands can provide for them, but I don’t want to force them to stay home when they really want to work. I also think men should be able to stay at home and take care of their children.
As awful as anti-feminist men are, they’re simply trying to oppress others, something humans have done for thousands of years. Anti-feminist women are a bit more of an enigma because I don’t think they intend to oppress themselves, I just think they don’t realize what it is to be oppressed. If Queen Victoria had been barred from ruling because she was a woman, she might’ve seen things differently. If Ann Coulter was banned from public speaking, writing, and even voting (which she has supported), I think even she might see things differently.