How Brock Turner’s “20 Minutes on Action” Impacted My Life

It might seem odd to some that a man I never met, who committed a crime on the opposite side on of the country, could have such a profound impact on my life. But I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

I’ve followed the Brock Turner case pretty closely.

I internally applauded the jury for coming to the defense of the young woman he attacked and finding him guilty. I couldn’t have been more proud of this woman, who I have also never met, standing up to her attacker in court. I want to shake the hands of the doctoral students who came to her aid.

I cringed reading the defense letter his high school girlfriend wrote. I had to stop reading the letter his father wrote twice because it made me so nauseous. I cried when his absurdly lenient sentence was announced. And when he was released from prison after serving only half of his laughable sentence, I felt sick to my stomach.

But I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

This case stirred up memories and feelings surrounding my own sexual assault (and by “stirred” I mean brought them rushing to the surface). And the events leading up to it. And what happened afterward. And how I chose to cope. And who I chose to tell. And the “what if”s. And the “why didn’t I”s. Brock Turner’s “20 minutes of action” forced me to relive my assault. But I know I’m not alone in feeling this way either.

Turner’s case isn’t unique – in fact it happens all too often. However this case, at least to my knowledge, is one of the most widely covered college rape cases to date, or at least the first I chose to follow.  It was in my face every day – on the news, on social media. As I said, I followed the case closely, but I almost didn’t have a choice. Could I have changed the channel or not clicked on the link? Sure. But once I started following the case I couldn’t stop. It seemed, for once, like this man, this predator, this rapist, was going to get what he deserved. This case brought national attention to an epidemic that is running rampant on college campuses and beyond. And then I read Dan Turner’s letter. And then Judge Persky handed down Turner’s sentence.

Brock Turner’s “20 minutes of action” have made me lose faith in our justice system. They’ve made me question the upbringing of the young men in our country. They’ve made me fear for women everywhere. They’ve made me realize that as much as I pretend I’m ok, I will never be “over” my sexual assault, and that terrifies me. They’ve made me despise him, this man I’ve never met. They’ve made me feel angry, and helpless, and sick. But I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

So I’ll let myself cry today, and maybe tomorrow too. But then I’ll do what I’ve done so many times since they’ve been published – read the letter written by the woman Turner attacked, and Joe Biden’s response. This brave young woman did what so many in her shoes, myself included, have been afraid to do. She faced her attacker. She took him to trial, despite being told she should be prepared not to win the case. She is a hero and should be applauded.

“I do not know you name – but your words are forever seared on my soul. Words that should be required reading for men and women of all ages. Words that I wish with all of my heart you never had to write,” Biden wrote. I share his sentiments wholeheartedly. I applaud him for recognizing her strength, and for acknowledging that sexual assault is not only a problem, but a crime. Reading these letters provides at least a small glimmer of hope that things might actually change.

Brock Turner’s “20 minutes of action” impacted innumerable lives. These minutes also created an amazingly strong survivor who will have forever changed the conversation surrounding sexual assault. And for her impact on my life, I will be forever grateful.