the wearing-things conundrum of my youth

a SYTYCB entry

I used to be afraid to be looked at as a girlygirl.

I was afraid that wearing skirts sometimes would make me a bad feminist.

So I bought clothes in the boy’s section and laughed at the jokes I didn’t even think were funny just to prove that I could, as if maybe this would land me a spot in the good feminist bleachers.

But at some point in the last months, year, I figured out that I am who I am. I don’t have to change that because I think it will make me a bad feminist. In fact, I think it makes me a bad feminist if I do change for it.

So now I wear skirts once and a while (I still do the sneakers, because, really, who can actually walk straight in high heels?), and wear shirts that don’t look like sacks. I thought that wearing “girlish” stuff would entail giving up, giving in to society, but now I realize that it’s only giving in if I wear it for society, for other people.

But I wear it for myself, and I think this is good advice for a lot of people. Wear what you want because you want to.

I think this goes for makeup, too. I have never worn makeup and have never really wanted to- people have told me that I should. People have told me that my face isn’t good enough without it, and I just tell them to go to hell, i like my face. But even that doesn’t mean I have a problem with people wearing makeup because they want to.

I just don’t think you should be forced to by people who aren’t yourself.