This is why I am not smiling

A SYTYCB Entry

In the wake of some articles/posts I read recently like this one and this one comes THIS IS WHY I AM NOT SMILING, installment one:

My male partner in my boxing class tonight felt the need to keep complimenting my strength. To which I respond WHAT DO YOU EXPECT I AM A HUMAN BEING WHO EXERCISES A LOT AND IS HEALTHY, thus I am strong. Please do not condescend to me. Please do not accentuate the inevitable, preexisting feeling that every woman in the place probably has when she is partnered with a man, namely that she has to prove herself, that she can’t focus on her own growth as a boxing champ/krav maga masta and must instead show you that she is a) sexy/cute or b) worth your full dedication as a partner (or really simultaneously both).

He would say it in a surprised “here’s some mansupport” kind of way, like “wow, good! strong knees!” or “there ya go!!” The knees got stronger as he pissed me off. Contrary to popular belief, sir, female bodies are not actually less strong than male bodies. And while we’re at it, here is another thing that pisses me off—an excerpt from Female Athletes First:

Women, gone are the days of feeling inferior to men in strength. You can train at higher volumes and higher intensities than previously believed years ago. You can become exceptionally strong, lean, powerful and explosive, all while still maintaining femininity, beauty and grace. You don’t have to fear getting big and bulky with strength training and looking like a man because we are genetically different from men.

PHEW! Thank the HEAVENS I can stop dreading looking like a BIG MAN (lest I not be ogled by them) and totally losing my SPECIAL FEMININITY (lest I lose my WOMANLY POWER!), and can thus finally start being an athlete…whoa… And if I ever start to fear these things again, maybe when I start to develop biceps or find it a little too easy to do push ups without putting my knees down, I must think only of genetics! I will forever be genetically brainwired as a LADY!

Just another dose of the same false empowerment we’ve grown so used to.

My thoughts in response to these frustrations re: female athleticism, the fiercely enforced binary embedded in the “(athletic) gender equality” facade balogne, etc., run parallel to issues and discussions around the recent Olympics in London.

One example: how athletes celebrate their victories. The WA Post’s Sally Jenkins called the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team “stagey, showy glory-seekers finally [getting] what they wanted: their own place on one of the largest stages in the history of their sport.” Jenkins’ portrait of midfielder Carli Lloyd granted her the most pathologized lady behaviors; Apparently Lloyd “played the scene-stealer, practically robbing her own teammate of the ball in a lunge for attention.” (Emphasis mine, cuz whoa.)

So while these and many other women are ridiculed for being attention-craved and desperate, accusations that are all too familiarly thrown at women and characteristics that are often attributed to them outside of athleticism (sometimes even used to label them as mentally ill), male athletes are talking about how they are literally THE BEST EVER, wearing obnoxious, stupid grills, biting their medals with these stupid grills…(huh?) and getting 90210 cameos (ok so Ryan Lochte annoys me but still). Of course, all that has been criticized…a little. But hey soccer stars who just were Really Incredible Athletes and thus beat Japan and took home the big G O L D and now want to celebrate? Take a lesson from Lovable Missy Franklin! It’s gotta be all sweet smiles and Lord-thankin’ or your Histrionic will show.

So, Man On The Street asking me why I don’t use my pretty face to smile. This is one of many reasons.

And all you Boys in the Gym! Don’t doubt my skills or the strength of my powerful body! And be so very kind as to allow me to celebrate however I want when I use them to win shit. Because we lady athletes deserve recognition, because we are good at things.