I have a right to feel safe at my job

I have never been physically threatened at my job, nor have I felt the presence of immediate danger.  But I have been sexually harrassed.  Not by my employer, and not by a fellow employee, but by our customers.  I work at a specialty grocery store where studies have shown that most of our customers possess advanced degrees, and make upwards of 45grand a year.  My store is fortunate enough to have a staff that not only works well together, but shares common humor, and creates a welcoming environment for everyone who comes into the store.  Most of the time, I really enjoy my job, and most of the time I am appreciated.  However, I have recently experienced several upsetting encounters with male customers.  No one laid a hand on me, or made overtly sexual verbal suggestions, it was much more subtle than that.  It could even be perceived as “harmless” flirting, but it was not.  In my opinion, it was sexual harassment.

For instance, this past week I was working my register and a gentleman with a rather full cart was next in my line.  As I began ringing up his purchase, I offered the usual congenial salutations, asking how he was and if he found everything okay.  He proceeded to tell me that I was very beautiful.  And after I thanked him and laughed, he told me how much he liked my hair.  I began to feel uncomfortable but I once again thanked him and continued ringing up his groceries.  He then asked me what I was doing for Christmas, I told him we were open Christmas Eve but closed Christmas Day, he replied that he didn’t mean the store he was asking me a personal question.  At this point, I wanted nothing more than to tell him to back off.  But I did not, I could not.  Part of my job is ensuring that our customers have the best possible visit to ensure return trips.  I worked as quickly as possible to ring up this man, bag his food, and get him out of my line.  And as he was leaving he winked at me and, with a sly smile, thanked me by name(another lovely feature of wearing a name tag).

And I could not do a thing.  I could not respond the way I usually do in situations of unwanted advancements, because I was at my job.  And I imagine he knew that.  After talking with some other female associates, they confirmed that they have experienced similar situations.  Perhaps it’s because I’m cynical, but I believe these men know that we have to be polite, and smile, and act like we’re very interested in what they’re saying.  We’re not the girl at the bar, we can’t walk away or rudely shut them down.  At the very least, we participate in their fantasy for as long as they’re inside our store.  And it makes me incredibly angry that we have to suffer this harassment.

I told one of our supervisors, but what can be done?  They didn’t see the man, and he never said or did anything outrightly sexual.  What can they say? Don’t talk to our female employees?  It is exactly this cycle that ensures that these men can continually get away with making women uncomfortable at their jobs.  Because I guarantee that none of our male employees have ever been harassed by a female customer.

I am unsure exactly how to remedy this problem, but it fills me with anger and contempt.  And above all, I find myself a little more anxious about being at my job, which I find is completely unacceptable.