Texas GOP platform would make it a felony to perform same sex marriages

Wowza. The Texas GOP platform is no joke scary. Not only would it make it a felony to perform same sex marriage (because “homosexuality tears at the fabric of society”), it would also ban oral and anal sex (because it tears at the…oh nevermind, too easy), and outlaw strip clubs and porn.
Some more gems from the platform:

Making make American English the official language of Texas and the United States.
Passing legislation requiring a sonogram for each pregnant woman seeking an abortion.
Opposing legislation allowing stem cell research involving the creation of killing of human embryos for medical research.

Okay, who wants to move to Texas? Anyone…. Bueller?