But that’s not in the script…

I’m sure that we all know what the expected behavior is from a woman in our culture: you date when you’re younger (teens and twenties), then marry and have kids a bit later (mid-late twenties and early thirties). That’s just fine if that’s what you want, but what if it isn’t?
What if I don’t start dating young enough? I never went out with anyone in jr. high or high school, and I was fine with that. What I wasn’t fine with was being asked WHY I didnt’ have a boyfriend. I didn’t get this so much from other teens, but from adults. One woman I worked with after school told me I was “stuck up” when I told her I wasn’t dating anyone because I just didn’t feel like it then, and wasn’t attracted to the guys that asked me out. Apparently, it’s impolite to not go out with someone you don’t want to go out with.

What if you get engaged before 25? Yes, I’m young (no longer in my teens, but still under 25), but we’ve made it clear that the soonest we’ll make it official is the summer after I get my degree. An ex-boyfriend of my mom’s even told me point-blank that if I meet a man who “really knocks [my] socks off”, I shouldn’t view my relationship as a reason not to pursue him. The night we told my mom, she waited until my fiance left and then told me that we should break up and see other people, just for the sake of dating. She apologised the next day, but it still hurt. I know there are other men out there, and I’ve dated some of them, but this one is my best friend as well as my partner. You don’t dump your best friend without a good reason.
What if you don’t want children? I want kids one day, but I know that voluntarily childless couples are subject to annoying comments. There have been more than enough posts on this site to that effect, and I don’t understand why friends, relatives and even casual acquaintances would have trouble with a childfree couple. Having a uterus does not mean you have use it, and having viable eggs doesn’t mean you have some expiration date at menopause. A person doesn’t lose some inherent value if they don’t pass on their genes.
What if you do want children, do want to date in high school and college and do want to get married and reproduce at the expected time BUT not with a man? I may be het, but I don’t see any reason why a lesbian couple shouldn’t be able to do any of those.
I fully support anyone who DOES adhere to the dating-marriage-children (with a man) pattern. It’s just that it shouldn’t be a big deal if someone does something differently.
PS: I’m not really sure what category to put this post it, so sorry if it doesn’t quite fit.