Round Stones or Full Rights

Congratulations to Kayan’s volunteer Nosayr Yassin on winning a shared third prize in the youth essay contest of the Women’s Learning Partnership on the occasion of 30 years of CEDAW!
Here is the winning essay:
Round Stones or Full Rights by Nuseir Yassin , Israel

“Never let the hand you hold, hold you down” This expression is completely true among the Arab society of women here in Israel. Though inconceivable as it may be, Arab women here in Israel, generally speaking, are facing tremendous forces trying to hold them down, yet, with great difficulty and unprecedented bravery, women that I have known are outstandingly strong before suppression by their most beloved ones.
In a generally conservative Arab community, women and young girls alike are struggling to earn their most fundamental freedoms: the freedom of speech, movement, and ideas. Starting with the most basic of all, the freedom of speech is the wish of most Arab women here in my community, for they cannot express their opinions or points of views lest they get suppressed by their own surroundings. “Family honor”, as obsolete as it may sound, is still a frequently used term that most likely serves as the reason behind an incident where a woman pays the price.
Furthermore, the condition of women is far from being equal to that of men’s. Women are destined to stay at home and men are free to go to wherever they wish. This injustice to women is what I believe to be the reason behind a corrupt offspring. The apple does not fall far from the tree, and neither does the offspring of suppressed women. Thus, the mighty men of today need to understand clearly that granting their poor women their most basic rights, such as the freedom of movement, is the key factor for a thriving community.

Although I am not a woman, I still sympathize with those women that need to look, sound, and act morally perfect as to fit the primitive traditions of their community. Based on my observations among the masculine world, if a woman greets men in a peculiar way then the woman is instantly not worthy of “being married”, for she will be put on the men’s black list. In addition, men tend to treat women as objects rather than as human beings with feelings and innovative ideas. And even though I am being highly critical towards men, I believe that women in Israel are yet to show their true hidden capabilities. All that is needed is to overcome a few obstacles.

The most pressing issue for the minority of Arab-Israeli women in the conservative Arab-Israeli community is the influence of community itself, which, undoubtedly, involves religion, society, and traditions. For a helpless woman to face rigid traditions is a great challenge. One example of how rigid a tradition can be is depicted in the following true story: One girl noticed that her mother cuts both the head and the tail of a fish before cooking it in the pot. She asked her mother why she does that, and the mother said that she got this habit from her own mother. The daughter then addressed her grandmother with the same question and she got the same answer. At last, the daughter addressed her great grandmother and the latter replied: “I cut the head and the tail of a fish because the pot was too small to fit”. The traditions involving how we should treat a woman are simply inherited. So for a fragile woman to change the way we cut the fish is a painstaking task that requires substantial resources and efforts.

In order to empower men and abridge the gaps between both sexes, we need to fully understand the community that we are facing. By saying we, I mean that both sexes need to come together as one unit and grant equality to the underprivileged sex that has suffered for so long due to having a “small pot”. A complete understanding of the bases on which the community stands is required. Furthermore, women need to face their community as one unit, and not as individuals. When “divide and conquer” method is practiced, women need to unite against the community, by the community, and for the community.

Plus, if you are going to change a tradition, come up with something better. And so should women come up with a more efficient method in which human rights of both sexes are guaranteed, and moral rules in the community are not neglected. Change, but maintain.

Last but not least, change is not immediate. Although women are in desperate need to be given their rights, they should be aware that the road of amendments is long and changing the views of extremists and moderates alike takes a considerable amount of time. I have witnessed women coming together as one unit to a local feminist organization called Kayan in hopes that tomorrow will be better. Currently, we are trying to build virtual bridges that will soon allow women to move freely in their village, with no unjust restrictions whatsoever. Sooner or later, I believe, those women will succeed eventually.

“Some questions cannot be answered. They become familiar weights in the hand, round stones pulled from the pocket, unyielding and cool. “
– Jane Hirshfield, poet, Princeton Class of 1973

This quote fully represents underprivileged women that are facing the pressure of their conservative communities. Yet, with the help of a unified position against obsolete traditions, the quote can be adjusted to become like this:

“Some questions can be answered. They become gifts given to our grandchildren. Full human rights pulled from history books, permanent and ubiquitous. “