Happy Holidays! Or not.

Just a little Monday morning understanding from Jay Smooth for all the humbuggers out there this holiday season.

Approximate transcript after the jump.

Happy holidays! Happy holidays! Happy holidays!
We’re a good 6 weeks deep now into telling everyone to have a happy holiday season. And the closer we get to the end of that season, the more urgent the need becomes to tell everyone everywhere to have a happy holiday, even though at this point in the year, that’s probably the useful thing you can say to anybody. Pretty much anybody you run into this week, you can be confident they already know there’s a holiday taking place, and that they’re expected to be happy when this occurs. So instead of me telling you to have a happy holiday for the forty-eleventh-millionth time 8 hundred millionth time, I’d rather take a minute to acknowledge everyone out there who’s not having a happy holiday. Everyone who can’t be with the family that they love, everyone who has to be with a family that they hate, everyone who can’t afford to express their love through the season’s mandatory rituals of crass consumerism. I see you, I know that you’re out there. I know that this is the most stressful, depressing, more unhappiest time of year for millions of people. And I know that if you’re already one of those people that are unhappy and then you gotta spend 6 weeks having everyone else come up to you like, “Hey have a happy holiday!” “I hope you’re having a happy one!” “Don’t you go wearing a frown!” “What are you, some kinda scrooge, is there something wrong with you? Society demands that you be happy!” If I’m one of those people who’s already unhappy, that is not helpful. That makes it worse. If I’m not having a happy holiday, it’s not because I forgot to do it. I don’t need you to remind me. I’m already acutely aware of my failure to be happy. Let me just pause for a minute and say I’m not mad at people who say “happy holiday,” I say it, we all have good intentions when we say it. But I also know that for a whole lot of people, this holiday season is like a little box that you know everyone is supposed to fit into. You wish that you could fit in the box too but you just can’t fit in the box. And when you can’t fit in the box, it makes you feel like the whole purpose of this holiday season is to remind you that there’s something wrong with you. So I just want to say to everyone out there, no matter how you spend this holiday, there’s nothing wrong with you doing that, and give a little love to both sides of that holiday divide. For everyone out there who is able to have a happy holiday, good for you, I’m sure you’re already on top of it, keep up the good work. And to everyone else out there who’s not fitting into that happy holiday box, I especially want to send this out to you, and let you know I see you, there’s lots of people there with you, I’ve been there, and you’re not alone. Basically I just want to say that wherever you are, whoever you’re with, whatever your circumstances, happy holidays…are optional if you’re into that kinda thing.