Why is Betty Dodson so hard on abuse survivors?

TRIGGER WARNING 

So I have a history of abuse I’m trying to deal with.  There were several abusers, and the first was my father.  I’ve posted on my experiences before.

I never had a relationship, never had consensual sex and never had an orgasm.  I’m in my early 30s.  I’m trying to figure these things out and one of the things

And what did I find?  Basically, a complete lack of empathy and lots hostility towards survivors.  In her site, Dodson:

- Promotes the idea that non-sexually repressed women don’t do anything as stupid as freeze when sexually assaulted but rather would sort of go with the flow

- Complains about an ‘industry’ that grew around sexual abuse and “chronically kept victims wallowing in their past”.

- Shows an attitude of “get over it already” – “Some rape or incest survivors are unable or unwilling to move on, to sexually heal themselves with therapy and masturbation.” “

Another gem is a debate where Dodson’s web partner, Ross, and another writer on her site criticize Polanski’s arrest with arguments along the lines of “13 year olds are women”:

I don’t think Dodson hates survivors or anything, but it seems as if, like a lot of other sex positive writers I’ve read, she refuses to actually engage with what abuse means.  And honestly, it makes me tune her and anyone who endorses her out.  Why should I listen to someone who would obviously never listen to me?

I have to say this conforms to my anecdotal experiences:  the most sex-positive friends (one works in Babeland) I have reacted negatively to my disclosures about my father, going so far as to stop talking to me, while friends who were a little more reserved were much more supportive.

I have a theory of why that is – they are so invested in their identity as sex-loving people that they need to block out anything negative.   Another theory I read on an abuse-survivors website was that American society is very invested in the Virgin-Whore paradigm, and now that virginity is not so fashionable in some circles, people go to the other extreme.  Or maybe, I have to wonder, they’re not as comfortable with their sexuality as they’d like you to believe…

What do you think?