going to the doctor sucks, especially when you’re a fat woman

I am a fat woman and I have been fat most of my life. I have my issues with my weight, but overall I believe that fat people (especially women) are unfairly treated in western culture, and the health care system is no exception. I have suffered the humiliations of going to the doctor as a fat woman more times than I care to remember. For me, going to the doctor – even if it is for something completely unrelated to my body size, like a hurt shoulder – means being stripped down to nothing more than body fat. I am reduced to a child; a complete moron who must not know anything about weight loss or nutrition or exercise and who desperately needs a talking-to by the nurse/physician’s assistant/doctor or whatever other self-righteous health professional is seeing me that day.
This problem is always worse when I am seeing a new doctor for the first time. I moved to the UK a couple of weeks ago to start a master’s program in Gender and International Relations. It has been great so far. However, today I had to go to the (free!) student health centre to get me some birth control pills. I was prepared for some bullshit, given my past experience, but my reaction was no better than any time before. I sat down with the nurse who checked my height and weight, determined my BMI and then started in on me.
“Oh my, your BMI is high. I think I will sign you up to see the nutritionist, she can help you figure out some better eating choices. And have you thought about signing up for the gym here on campus?”
And on, and on. 1) How the fuck does she know how I eat? I could live on salad and water for all she knows. In fact, I have before. 2) I am already signed up for the gym and I just came from a workout there. Her assumptions that I have never heard about weight loss/exercise/nutrition before, that a fat woman cannot possibly be active or eat well, or that it has never occurred to me that I am fat is just mind-boggling to me.
But here’s the kicker:
“Women with a BMI over 30 are advised not to take oral contraceptives in the United Kingdom, so you are going to need to choose another method of birth control.”
WOW. I was stunned. No doctor I have ever seen has implemented this rule with me before. I realize there are risks associated with taking the pill, especially for fat women, older women, and women who smoke. Those risks are rare and I am an adult who can make that decision on my own. I cannot believe they won’t let me have the pill. Apparently it is some kind of rule in the UK that completely discriminates against fat women. It is ridiculous, but I have decided to just have my home prescription shipped to me here because I wouldn’t want to go back to that place again anyway.
Overall, the way this woman spoke to me was astounding. It’s as though because I am fat, I was stripped of my agency as an adult woman. She had no respect for me, and you could hear in her voice that she thought I was just some idiot who let herself go and has no idea how to eat or what to do to lose weight or just be healthy. She knew nothing about me. She didn’t know that I have been on every diet and read every book about nutrition/weight loss I could get my hands on since I was 10 years old, and that I am therefore probably on par with the nutritionist when it comes to knowledge about this stuff. She didn’t know that I have lost close to 75 pounds over the last three years. She had no clue that I need to be on the pill to keep me from having one, long period due to issues with my reproductive cycle. In her eyes, I was reduced to an alarmingly simple being, because I am fat.