“I am so not a feminist.”

I attend an all women’s college.  I’ve really loved the environment here.  Most queer identified people see campus as a safe zone, and there is a lot of encouragement of feminist ideals and the important work that women can do in the world.

I’m a fifth year, already graduated but taking advantage of a neat fifth year tuition free program at my school and I’m taking classes that have a higher percentage of first year and sophomore students than I’m used to.

Waiting for class to start the other day, I hear a younger student having this conversation about talking with a frat boy.

"So he said, ohhh, you go to Agnes Scott, I bet you’re all about equal rights and stuff."  (paraphrase, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but something along those lines)

"And I was like, I am sooo not a feminist.  My job is to cook you dinner."

I was dumbfounded.  I couldn’t believe that any woman would have that reaction.  A woman who is insulted and defensive about being thought of as caring about equal rights for women?  But it brought back memories of me having the same conversation with frat boys.  Except when they acted all "eww" about someone possibly being for women’s rights, I responded to them like the misogynistic jerk they were being.  I am perfectly fine with a woman wanting to cook her husband or boyfriend dinner.  Cooking a family meal is something that I enjoy immensely.  The act of creating something that will sustain me, my boyfriend and my friends is very satisfying.  But that is not the way this woman felt.  She felt like she had to deny an association with the big bad feminists and assert herself as a traditional woman to get the patriarchal head pat.  It made me sad that a woman who lives in the environment my school has feels that way.

Any thoughts on this?  Is it a backlash against the feminist atmosphere at my school?  Does my classmate really feel like her job is to cook a man dinner and be subservient to him, or was she just trying to not be pushed into a negative stereotype of feminism she didn’t think she fit in?  It really bothered me, and I really want to help all women think, "hey, it’s okay to want equal rights."