Friday funny

Hilarious parody:

ABSTINENCE-ONLY DRIVER’S ED.
BY SUZANNE KLEID
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Thanks for making it out on a rainy Saturday, kids. Slippery out there, huh? Let’s get started. We’re gonna have some fun today!
Car accidents are a leading cause of death for teenagers. The school board and your elected representatives want to make sure that you and your families are spared from such a tragedy, which is why the money for driver’s ed was eliminated from the budget. Whereas last year I was teaching your older siblings how to shift and brake and three-point-turn during a six-week course, it has since been decreed that I actually need just one afternoon to tell you the only piece of safety information I’m permitted by law to share:
The ONLY 100 percent effective method for avoiding car accidents is to ABSTAIN from driving until marriage.

And it gets better from there. Read the whole thing.
Thanks to reader Samantha for passing this along.