By Jessica • 18 years ago

Making the world easier for stalkers one pair of panties at a time


Just in case you had any doubts that the men in your life own your vagina.
Forget-me-not panties, being marketed to men, have a tracking device planted in women’s underwear that also monitors heart rate and body temperature:
These “panties” can trace the exact location of your woman and send the information, via satellite, to your cell phone, PDA, and PC simultaneously! Use our patented mapping system, pantyMap®, to find the exact location of your loved one 24 hours a day.
The technology is embedded into a piece of fabric so seamlessly she will never know it’s there!
Cause if she did know, she’d get a fucking restraining order!
But the forget-me-not-or-I’ll-fucking-kill-you panties don’t just help crazy stalking boyfriends and husbands. Concerned (obsessed) fathers can also benefit from these privacy-invading undies.
Check out this testimonial from Daddy David:
When my daughter hit puberty I nearly had a heart attack. She started looking like a woman and suddenly she was wearing revealing clothing and staying out late with her friends.
Rather than become an over-protective parent, I decided to try forget-me-not panties™.
They work wonderfully. My wife and I bought our Sarah several pairs so we can watch her around the clock, and if we see her temperature rising too high, we intervene by calling her cellphone or just picking her up wherever she is. My only comment is it would be great to have a video camera…

Eww. Eww. Nothing quite like dear old dad monitoring the temperature of your vagina. I’m sorry, but this is so creepy-incestuous.
How is this legal?
Via Trish Wilson.

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