Daily Feminist Cheat Sheet

Daily Tar Heel

UNC student paper The Daily Tar Heel takes a stand against campus sexual violence.

The Princeton alum who wants students to get their MRSs ASAP is just digging herself deeper and deeper.

“Withholding war-raped women the right to safe abortion is a form of violence.”

Towson University’s White Student Union is terrifying.

Men need to be allies against sexual violence.

On Easter, Google honored a man who worked to help the poor and the hungry, and some Christians got really angry because he wasn’t Jesus.

Obama proclaims April National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.

Why Ashley Judd isn’t running.

Silence isn’t sexy.

Mazel tov if you want to and can get married young, but I’m cool being single at 23, thanks.

Let’s spice science class up with a fun rape analogy!

The WMC has a nice piece about Girls Write Now.

Rep. Mark Salmon’s son came out, but the Republican from Arizona, unlike Sen. Rob Portman, hasn’t changed his mind on same-sex marriage.

In other news from everyone’s favorite state, Arizona: The House Panel passed a”bathroom bill” that discriminates against trans* and gender queer people.

Finally, some good news about women in journalism: the gender distribution of National Magazine Award nominations is even.

Success for the Sandbergs and Slaughters of the world isn’t enough; feminism is failing working-class women.

Fifty shades of feminism.

In honor of April Fools’ Day, celebrate Albert Einstein, father and chili chef!

Yeah.

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4 Comments

  1. Posted April 2, 2013 at 8:30 am | Permalink

    It’s statements like “Men need to be allies against sexual violence.”, which sometimes deflates ones indignation with other articles like “Feminists don’t hate men–they just hate you, MRA dude.” Men should stand up against sexual and other violence against women. Not because women will or have done things for men, but because it’s the right thing to do. So why don’t we?

    I’m half Asian / half white. I grew up in a white neighborhood in the most racially segregated city in the U.S. in the 70s. Many people were aggressive in their desire for us to leave. Almost every Asian male in our small community in my age group took up weight lifting and / or martial arts. I’ll still hear frustrated comments from the guys when watching movies like there’s only five of them you take three and your buddy takes two. I got my butt handed to me by eight guys once. I didn’t think I’d win, but I didn’t back down. Two of them fared worse than I did. A friend, not from our group, once told me that Hell will freeze over twice on the day you’re intimidated. So why do I stay silent when people make sexist jokes or when women are abused? Why would a man step in front of a woman and take a bullet, but laugh with his buddies at a joke he knows is wrong?

    It easy to stand up for the people we love against those we don’t know. It’s harder when both people are strangers. Women have the right and deserve to have our support even in cases where it’s a friend abusing a stranger, but they have no idea of what they ask of us. The odd thing is that the greatest influence we have is with our friends. A woman asked why no one stepped in to help the victim in Steubenville. She asked where were her friends? They might have been his friends also. So how do we get men to the point where they can stand up to peer pressure? How do we get men to unlearn the “bro code” or “bros before hoes” that tells us not just to stay silent in the face of abuse, but actively support the abuser? Simply telling men they need to stand up for women isn’t going to change that. I guess it’s a conversation men should be having, but I surely don’t know the answers and am open to suggestions.

    • Posted April 2, 2013 at 4:47 pm | Permalink

      I appreciate you asking these questions.

      I’m wondering, though what you mean by, “Women have the right and deserve to have our support even in cases where it’s a friend abusing a stranger, but they have no idea of what they ask of us”. What are we asking of you? To not rape us, not assault us, not batter us, not degrade us, not violate us? Hopefully that is not what you meant. Are you speaking to the pressure men are under to participate in traditional masculinity, which includes the degradation of women? I do understand the incredible pressure men are under to be stay within the confines of traditional masculinity. And I think if that’s what you’re speaking to here, talking about those pressures, giving voice to this conflict you’re dealing with, is hugely valuable and important.

      This video may be helpful and of interest to you:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JRmpNw7U-YE

      A quote:

      “I don’t know how violence against women became a women’s issue. Not only do women get raped and battered and undermined and destroyed, but then we have to fix it. Then we have to clean it up. Then we have to make it better. Then we have to figure out a solution for a problem we didn’t create. This is [a men's] issue. We are not raping ourselves.” Eve Ensler

      • Posted April 5, 2013 at 4:39 am | Permalink

        The first time I dealt with violence against women was when my mom told me that a cousin’s boyfriend had beaten her. My brother and I found out where he hung out, found him with a group of friends, and laid them out. It had the effect I thought it would. Her friends were saying that her cousins were crazy, but I doubt it had the effect I wanted, which was for him to stop hitting her. I think she just stopped telling people. It took a conversation with a woman to tell me that women didn’t want the men who love them to seek revenge. They didn’t want them in jail. I used to hear the stats that 1 in 3 or 1 in 4 women were abused in one way or another. I used to wonder why if that were true my friends / family didn’t tell me. I guess women protect their men as men protect their women. It’s easy to protect the women we love from people we don’t know. It’s how we’re raised to protect and provide.

        There was another time. I went out with two friends. We were going to a club near the home of a friend we hadn’t seen in a year. We decided to stop by to see if he wanted to come. His sometimes girlfriend was there. He wanted to go. She wasn’t prepared and didn’t want to. We could sense there was a problem and told him that he didn’t have to come. When he insisted and planned to take his girlfriend’s car, we told him that there was room in our car. She didn’t have any bruises on her arms when we left. She had some when we got to the club.
        He wouldn’t hit her when we were around because he knew we weren’t cool with it so we arranged to always have someone in the vicinity, but we never directly confronted him. I thought I did a great thing. We stopped him from hitting her. It was over 15 years later when I realized that he probably just beat her after we left and maybe didn’t care if the bruises were on her face. I remember telling a female friend and being accused of being afraid of him. He benched about 450, but I could still do about 250 and kick boxed. I wasn’t afraid of him and remember being upset that my masculinity was questioned.

        There are lots of excuses that go through your head. He’s my friend. I don’t know her. He had my back in a couple fights I got in. I owe him. I don’t owe her a thing. I can’t hurt him unless I use either lethal or debilitating strikes and couldn’t stand up to his power in the long run. If we got into a fight one of us will be in the hospital or morgue. It’s just not worth it. What’s the problem, it’s not like he’s hitting her now? Sometimes masculinity dovetails with protecting women. Sometimes it doesn’t. There were three guys who didn’t like what was happening, but we stayed silent. The one guy cared enough about our opinion (and maybe fighting ability) to not beat his girlfriend in front of us. We were the majority, but we stayed silent.

        We haven’t gone by his house or associated with him since then. I’m still processing what should have been done that night. One feminist acquaintance suggested calling the police. I don’t think I could have brought myself to it, but ignoring it wasn’t the right way. When I say women don’t know what they ask of us, I reference cases like this where we have to go against those things we’ve been socially conditioned to do. We also need to know how to support women. Masculinity tells me to pound someone, but that doesn’t seem to help. Women don’t seem to want us to do it.

  2. Posted April 2, 2013 at 10:12 am | Permalink

    I started a petition on change.org for the University of Rochester professor. http://www.change.org/petitions/the-university-of-rochester-sanction-professor-landsburg I think I’m extra disgusted since I have family members that are alumni.

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