Five reasons Mitt Romney is totally not a #bawse

According to the National Review–100% of women should vote for Mitt Romney because he is a “boss” and not for Obama, because he had daughters (and that like makes him gay and stuff). But in our new diverse, innovative and creative economy, traditional ideas of being a “boss” are changing. For one thing, women actually have jobs now, some of us are even bosses!

So, departing from the mythologies of the right like–the uterus has powers to make rape-sperm blocking patronuses or that all women want to marry rich assholes and produce their male progeny–let’s deal with the real world, where women actually have to get jobs and stuff.

There are certain fundamental qualities that make people good bosses and Mitt Romney does not have them:

1. He can’t make up his mind for shit. Just read the news. A good boss has a vision, a plan, a strategy. Romney’s campaign shows us one thing–he has none of that.

2. He started out rich. He’s never known what it is like to actually have to work for something. The best bosses take nothing for granted, they worked their way to the top and can empathize with people along the way. What kind of a boss has never had to truly work for something? Without his massive financial cushion, Mitt Romney wouldn’t even make it through Burning Man, let alone real life.

3. He doesn’t know if women should get paid the same as men. What woman wants to work for that boss? What kind of a boss doesn’t think all their employees should be fairly compensated for their work? Oh, right, a really shitty one.

4. He has foot in mouth syndrome. Which I guess makes sense, when you have no convictions. But a real boss, a good boss, has talking points, knows what they are going to say and does their best to keep their entity out of impending danger or humiliation. Romney is not that dude for that job. 

5. He’ll say he’s the boss, even when he’s not working. Seriously.

I don’t know what job Kevin Williamson is assessing Romney’s skills for, but it’s not the POTUS. And the election is actually not a massive rap battle where the candidate that most mimics “gangsta” life makes it to the top (see also: Why conservative writers shouldn’t actually listen to the raps).

And even if that is the case, I think Obama got this.

Join the Conversation

  • Miriam

    I take issue with point #2 in this article as a general statement. Being born into wealthy does not automatically disqualify someone from being a good boss. It’s harmful to write off people born into wealth as automatically the “bad” people who can’t relate to others who have struggled in life. Also, being born into wealth does not mean they have not struggled in other ways. I get the point for this particular article, but I disagree with the statement as a general rule for all people.

  • Okailey Jackson

    Samhita, this was a great post! Just because Mitt makes a surplus of money does not make him a good boss. But he seems to think so. Obama grew up in a working class family, and he and Michelle was not what you call a rich family but upper middle class. They had student loans to pay back and both worked. The best part of this article is how you made awareness to the fact that Obama is a REAL BOSS, because in the end who made things happen in our nation? Like who made needed changes to our healthcare system as well as ended the reign of Osama Ben Ladin?
    Wasn’t Bush, but the Obama administration did their thing!

  • think tank

    You can hammer Mitt on a bunch of things but a couple of your points are way off base.

    He started out rich. – You fail to mention that when his father died he gave his whole inheritance away to charity and lived in a tiny apartment w/ his then wife. And how does starting off rich make you a bad boss?? That’s like saying if you start off poor that makes you a bad example of work ethic.

    Also “the best bosses take nothing for granted, they worked their way to the top “.. do you actually know Mitt Romney’s story? He has a JD and MBA from Harvard and graduated near the top of his class in both. He’s more educated than Obama and he started his own company. Obama has never worked his way to the top in anything in the private sector.

    He’ll say he’s the boss, even when he’s not working. – In the private sector it’s typical for a few years after you leave to have “legal” control of the entity you were at until ownership is completely transferred over. There’s no way he could have been actually running the company when he was turning the Olympics around.

    Please stick to the factual points (like hammering him on flip flopping, his actual political positions, etc.) but overgeneralizing about someone w/o giving their full story is not the way to go in the future.