Mary Gonzalez

Mary Gonzalez will be the first out pansexual legislator in the US

Mary GonzalezThere’s been a lot of talk about coming out lately, but what Mary Gonzalez did last week is a first. Gonzalez won the El Paso Democratic primary in May, and since there’s no challenger she’s set to become the representative from her district. And on Friday, she came out as pansexual in the Dallas Voice:

After coming out as bisexual at 21, Gonzalez said a few years later she started dating “gender-queer” and transgender people, and later identified as pan.

“As I started to recognize the gender spectrum and dated along the gender spectrum, I was searching for words that connected to that reality, for words that embraced the spectrum,” she said. “At the time I didn’t feel as if the term bisexual was encompassing of a gender spectrum that I was dating and attracted to.”

(Ahem, I see those scare quotes around genderqueer.)

Gonzalez initially identified as queer, which apparently proved confusing to a news media that’s way behind the times on sexuality and gender. So she started using the word gay, which led to her being labeled as a lesbian. And then there was policing of her sexuality for not being a “true lesbian” because she’d dated men in the past. At that point, Gonzalez felt the election had focused on her sexuality enough already, with the media labeling her the Latina lesbian lawmaker.

“During the campaign if I had identified as pansexual, I would have overwhelmed everyone,” she said this week, adding that people don’t know what being pan means. “Now that I’m out of the campaign, I’m completely much more able to define it.”

I’m glad Gonzalez feels able to define herself on her own terms now. While there has been a slowly increasing number of legislators who are out as not straight, we haven’t actually seen much sexuality diversity represented in our politics. There are a few out bisexual legislators in the country, but most out politicians have identified as gay or lesbian. So it matters that Gonzalez is bringing pansexual into the mainstream in this way.

People should be able to be out on their own terms, and it’s a major problem that our political conversation doesn’t have much space for sexuality beyond straight and gay. In fact, there hasn’t been a lot of space for other sexualities in the mainstream conversation, period. It’s a positive and long overdue shift that public figures like Frank Ocean and Gonzalez are finally feeling like they can talk about their sexualities in a way that’s true to their experiences, even if it doesn’t fit neatly in the straight or gay box (next step: not having to come out as not straight. Or maybe just having to come out as straight? Just cause that would crack me up). It’s high time the media and our politics start making this sort of space (rather than, say, pushing Frank Ocean into the gay box). Gonzalez is opening up space for other folks to come out as pansexual, and to represent more of the diversity within the queer community. This should mean that soon other folks won’t have to educate everyone about what pansexual means when they come out.

Congratulations and thank you, Mary Gonzalez, for coming out on your own terms.

Boston, MA

Jos Truitt is Executive Director of Development at Feministing. She joined the team in July 2009, became an Editor in August 2011, and Executive Director in September 2013. She writes about a range of topics including transgender issues, abortion access, and media representation. Jos first got involved with organizing when she led a walk out against the Iraq war at her high school, the Boston Arts Academy. She was introduced to the reproductive justice movement while at Hampshire College, where she organized the Civil Liberties and Public Policy Program’s annual reproductive justice conference. She has worked on the National Abortion Federation’s hotline, was a Field Organizer at Choice USA, and has volunteered as a Pro-Choice Clinic Escort. Jos has written for publications including The Guardian, Bilerico, RH Reality Check, Metro Weekly, and the Columbia Journalism Review. She has spoken and trained at numerous national conferences and college campuses about trans issues, reproductive justice, blogging, feminism, and grassroots organizing. Jos completed her MFA in Printmaking at the San Francisco Art Institute in Spring 2013. In her "spare time" she likes to bake and work on projects about mermaids.

Jos Truitt is an Executive Director of Feministing in charge of Development.

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Join the Conversation

  • Eileen

    Because I’ve heard such a wide variety of definitions of pansexual (including someone who described it as finding everything, even a table, sexually attractive) I just say I’m bisexual. I agree that the term is a bit limiting, and does not quite accurately define myself, but it is one that is more understood.

    • Matthew Cupples

      Even perhaps a pan? Get it? Pansexual?


  • Adam

    Sigh! Pan is a kind of bisexual, the two terms are not mutually exclusive: pan is a specific kind of bisexual. Bisexual is not a middle ground between “men-loving” and “women-loving,” it is a broad range between heterosexual (different gender) and homosexual (same gender) – loving. Same/different covers everyone and does not exclude people “along the gender spectrum.” The bi/pan/fluid community is invisible and dis-empowered enough…. we don’t need to be divided even further.

  • Kynthia

    Stupid jokes. Wow. A woman, a Latina at that, takes this awesome step forward, tries to enlighten people and the response is [deleted] jokes ?

    My girlfriend could be considered pan sexual, I am a lesbian transsexual (means I am a woman and I am sexually attracted to women) Or, without acknowledging my trans sexuality, she is bisexual. I am lesbian.

    Really folks, it isn’t about WHO you love, and that leaves out inanimate objects (the hue and cry of fundamentalists who claim love can 0nly exist between man and woman) Love is simply love.