The Wednesday Weigh-In: Sexy Halloween Edition

Cartoon of sexy Halloween costumes
Read Part 2 of the cartoon at The Hairpin. “Sexy Virgnia Woolf” is my fav.

It’s almost Halloween, you guys! Which means yet another year of eye-rolling about how TEH SEXY has completely taken over. Jillian Tamaki’s costume ideas in Part 2 of the cartoon above are so hilarious/sad because they not very different at all from actual costumes on the market. Sexy Nemo?! Really?

But confession time: One of the reasons I hate the fact that a sexy costume has become all but required is that I kinda like dressing sexy for the occasion. Yes, I’m one of those girls. If Halloween is fun because it’s a night we’re allowed to pretend to be something we aren’t, I want to pile on the heavy makeup and break out the skimpy outfits. (There are only so many opportunities to wear that tasseled white mini-skirt, after all.) Yes, the sexualization of Halloween is sad and absurd, but so is the slut-shaming that makes many women feel like it’s the only time they have permission to wear a “slutty” outfit without getting judged for it. (And, of course, they probably will get judged anyway.)

So let’s brainstorm some costumes that, whether revealing or not, are actually sexy. In other words, clever ones that don’t just involve cutting holes in a regular costume. I’ll start: I’m going to be a Sexy IUD. I’ll be dressed as a sleek, shiny copper “T” and go around hitting on guys with pickup lines like, “I’m over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy–and at getting you off!” and “I’d sure like for you to tickle my threads!”

What are your truly sexy costume ideas?

Also check out Miriam’s and Ann’s feminist costume ideas from previous years. (Lots of sexy ones there too!) And refer to these tips for how to not be offensive this Halloween.

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13 Comments

  1. A
    Posted October 19, 2011 at 9:23 am | Permalink
  2. Posted October 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

    Sorry, this is barely off topic but-Wow. I mistakenly read the askmen.com article the linked word “judged” led to and found this wonderful gem:

    “Halloween is both pleasure and torture for us. Every girl puts herself out there, but she’s not really out there to put out. Even if they are, they all look the same and it’s impossible to tell which ones actually follow up on the promises their costumes make.”

    Follow up on the PROMISES THEIR COSTUMES MAKE. Wow. Someone didn’t attend the slutwalk. As if I didn’t despise the askmen website enough already.

  3. Posted October 19, 2011 at 1:45 pm | Permalink

    I was a sexy lobster a couple Halloweens ago. It was great.

  4. Posted October 19, 2011 at 2:07 pm | Permalink

    Should I be sexy Aldous Huxley or sexy Block Of Tofu for Halloween? Or maybe sexy Head of Kale (Please note that my plans for Halloween are to go work my regular shift at my place of employment– that is, 12 Midnight to 8 AM at a sex shop)

  5. Posted October 19, 2011 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    As per the cartoon, I DID dress up as my rat one Halloween, though with a white dress and pink stockings/feet, not in underwear like that.

  6. Posted October 19, 2011 at 3:09 pm | Permalink

    How can anyone focus on Sexy Nemo when there’s a Sexy Osama Bin Laden costume in there? Warning: Some things cannot be unseen.

  7. Posted October 19, 2011 at 4:21 pm | Permalink

    I’m going to be a freudian slip. It’ll let me wear lingerie in public while being clever! But as a bit of a gender-barrier pushing, I’m going to spice it up with facial hair. I’m thinking a thin moustache. I know the gentlemen will love the lingerie, but I want to raise some questions about transphobia when they see my face!

    • Posted October 20, 2011 at 10:34 am | Permalink

      Haha I’ve done the freudian slip a few years… it is a good combo of a little sexy and also clever. Haven’t found anything else quite as good.

  8. Posted October 19, 2011 at 6:04 pm | Permalink

    Last year I was a piece of meat. I wrapped myself in wax paper and plastic and printed an image of a meat sticker and taped it to me. People were…kinda freaked out I think. The irony was either too much or it completly went over their heads. The year before that I was the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. I wore a black dress and then over that I put plastic bags with other trash glued to me. They both ended up looking pretty sexy. I really cannot decide what to be this year. I love the idea of being something completly unsexy and then adding sexy to it; like “sexy Aldous Huxley” which is hilarious. Irony is my friend.

  9. Posted October 19, 2011 at 6:09 pm | Permalink

    I’m going as a sexy Pikachu. Black short-shorts, yellow fitted t-shirt, black knee-high socks and mouse ears. I plan on rubbing my feet on carpet to create static and using “thundershock” on friends.

    Also, to the above poster who thought of Sexy Tofu is genius. Go for it! Though, I’m afraid the sexy IUD might go above people’s heads, which is a shame. Awesome idea though! #contraceptiveknowledgefail

  10. Posted October 19, 2011 at 6:38 pm | Permalink

    This year I wanted to dress up as a superheroine, so I decided to be feminism ;) Mostly I’m just excited about people asking me what I am, and me being able to deadpan “Feminism.”

    It will be sexy, because feminism is sexy. Also, I will have a toolbelt complete with BC, condoms, a dildo and a wooden spoon. I would actually appreciate any more suggestions for my toolbelt. I was thinking one of my bell hooks books, but that gets a little bulky.

  11. Posted October 19, 2011 at 7:11 pm | Permalink

    I was a “sexy-vulva” a few years ago for Halloween. http://www.craftster.org/pictures/data/500/medium/Halloween_2008_0311.jpg

  12. Posted October 20, 2011 at 10:35 am | Permalink

    Not gonna lie, I’m gonna be sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I recently found my graduation gown in the back of my closet and have been wondering wtf to do with it, so.. Halloween it is. Trying to decide whether I should shorten it or leave it a little unzipped and employ some double-sided tape.

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