Will.i.am doesn’t like women who have their own condoms and I don’t like him

Slut-shaming with a side of awful sex education? My favorite! Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas recently told Elle that he thinks women who have their own condoms are a total boner-killer.

ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?

W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just fuckin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.

ELLE: Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?

W: I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.” Another pet peeve is wet sinks.

Really? This is a thing that people think? I mean, intellectually I guess I knew that, but it still seriously blows my mind. I have condoms literally strewn around my room. Granted, they are gathering dust. But, goddamn it, I’m for sure going to be prepared should the opportunity arise.

Jamilah Lemox Lemieux, take it away…

“Keeping condoms in the house is not the signature behavior of a slut; it is a responsible action taken by a sexually active person. Whether you are in a monogamous relationship, sleeping around all over town or simply open to the possibility of having sex at some point, it’s good to be prepared. Men have been known to keep condoms not simply in their homes, but in their cars and wallets. This isn’t about suggesting that the onus of providing protection should be on the part of the man (or that a couple should purchase all prophylactics together); this is basically saying that women should not be able to make the decision to have sex as casually as men can. And that’s nonsense.”

Nonsense that not only shames women for being sexually active but also endangers their health. As my first act of what Andrea Plaid coined “skank solidarity,” I am gathering all the condoms in my apartment and putting them in a big candy bowl on my coffee table. There they will remain. Forevermore.

bowl of condoms

Dear will.i.am,
Please leave me my condoms and get your baby wipes outta my house.
Love, Maya

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  1. Posted April 28, 2011 at 9:35 am | Permalink

    It’s tacky to be in control of your sexual health?! Since when? Perhaps Will.i.am’s dick lives in the mid-seventies and still thinks AIDS is a diet candy.

    Quotes like these make me so glad to be out of the dating pool.

  2. Posted April 28, 2011 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    Thanks for the shout out! But it’s “Lemieux”, not “Lemox”. :-)

    Love the candy bowl idea!

    • Posted April 28, 2011 at 11:33 am | Permalink

      Oops! My apologies, Jamilah!

  3. Posted April 28, 2011 at 10:31 am | Permalink

    The first time I had sex with my partner, she took a break in the action long enough to point to a box by her bed. Within this box were several condoms. The implication was crystal-clear.

    Why would I feel somehow offended? I was about to get laid! :)

  4. Posted April 28, 2011 at 11:26 am | Permalink

    Wow. So it’s tacky to be realistic about the fact that you may have sex- and be prepared for it….. is it not tacky to contribute to a song about someone’s “humps”? Their “lovely lady lumps”? Seems pretty damned tacky to me.

  5. Posted April 28, 2011 at 12:10 pm | Permalink

    I bet he’s one of those losers that thinks all women should sit around chastely waiting for HIM to bestow his almighty attention on them–even if he just met them. He probably sees condoms and thinks “how dare a woman have a life of her own outside of me?”

  6. Posted April 28, 2011 at 12:16 pm | Permalink

    Ah well at least we know what to do if this idiot ever comes knocking – condoms everywhere…

  7. Posted April 28, 2011 at 12:24 pm | Permalink

    I guess I won’t be having sex with Will.i.am any time soon.

  8. Posted April 28, 2011 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    I feel like the fact that he lists his second pet peeve as “wet sinks” only highlights how ridiculous he is. God forbid women have condoms in case they want to have sex, and God forbid sinks have water in them, cause, you know, that’s not what they’re for, or anything…

  9. Posted April 28, 2011 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    I am currently 36 years old and in a committed relationship. I began carrying my own condoms as a teenager. Why? Because teenagers often do things without thinking about them first, and I have a latex allergy. Non- latex condoms are not the sort that boys tend to keep in stock, unless they too are allergic… and fat chance of finding non-latex condoms in gas stations or bodegas. My 19yr old babysitter recently told me that she has had a lot of unprotected sex because of HER latex allergy and guys not having the right ones… I’ve encouraged/ empowered her to take control of her sex life and her health. Bring your own. Always. Its too important to be safe.

  10. Posted April 28, 2011 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

    Well I don’t like the idea of any girlfriends or cousins of mine going out with someone that hates the fact they’re sexually prepared. STDs hello??

  11. Posted April 28, 2011 at 5:35 pm | Permalink

    i think the way he spells his name is tacky.

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