Power Gained via Strap-on Sex With Men?

Not Safe for Work.

My SO and I have been thinking about using a strap-on on him. It’s not going to happen for some time, but conversation has opened up. He’s nervous because of the way society has basically told him that he’s gay if he does that and it’s bad. But he is open to the idea and a big part of him really does want to. So we’ve been looking online for information and harnesses and dildos and whatnot, and a lot of rhetoric about power comes up. You know, how ‘women enjoy gaining power’ when using a strap-on to penetrate their male lover.With something other than a finger,I haven’t found much on women feeling empowered by using a finger to penetrate anally.

First of all, what exactly are the implications here? I understand that power is something involved, I feel a little empowered just thinking about wearing a harness, even if it’s not with the dildo in it. But I think a lot of comes from the idea that to have power in sex is to penetrate. And to me, that’s more than a little messed up. I mean, what does that say about men and women in their natural state? Are women really considered naturally powerless in sex just because we are the ones being penetrated? It shows in gay men relationship ideas we have, too: the one receiving is the ‘woman,’ the ‘bitch,’ if you will.

I personally feel like we are BOTH gaining power by switching roles, and I can’t really describe why. We both think of it as being able to choose what role you have during intercourse (give/receive,) but I can’t really describe it better than that. I keep falling on the ‘well, I’m able to penetrate now’ reasoning.

So my main questions are, why do these women and men keep saying that a woman is ‘empowered’ by strapping a cock on? Is there any idea of men losing power by taking it? Is it bad that these women feel like they are gaining power by being able to penetrate? Does it only reinforce the idea that one is only empowered during sex if they are penetrating? I’m just not sure what most people mean when they talk about gaining power by becoming the one who is penetrating.