Women’s bodies: Just like open-source software!

This guy wants to feel your boobs.
So apparently at a software convention called ConFusion, a bunch of guys were standing around and talking about how awesome the world would be if they could just reach out and grab any woman’s boobs. And a woman near them piped up that they could touch her breasts, and they all proceeded to grope her. Then, according to a post by some dude who calls himself the Ferrett, pictured above, they asked other women:

“It was exciting, of course. I won’t deny it was sexual. But it was a miraculous sexuality that didn’t feel dirty, but clean.
Emboldened, we started asking other people. And lo, in the rarified atmosphere of the con, few were offended and many agreed. And they also felt that strange charge. We went around the con, asking those who we thought might be amenable – you didn’t just ask anyone, but rather the ones who’d dressed to impress – and generally, people responded. They understood how this worked instinctively, and it worked.

Did you catch that? “The ones who’d dressed to impress“? Almost as if they were “asking for it”? That because they were wearing a tight shirt, their breasts were practically public property, anyway?

By the end of the evening, women were coming up to us. “My breasts,” they asked shyly, having heard about the project. “Are they… are they good enough to be touched?” And lo, we showed them how beautiful their bodies were without turning it into something tawdry.”

Because what could be more intoxicating than the approval of a room full of tech dudes?

We talked about this. It was an Open-Source Project, making breasts available to select folks. (Like any good project, you need access control, because there are loutish men and women who just Don’t Get It.) And we wanted a signal to let people know that they were okay with being asked politely, so we turned it into a project: The Open-Source Boob Project.

For those of you not technologically inclined, “open-source” software means the code is available for anyone to use. All-access. Everyone has a right to it. Just like women’s bodies! (Get it? They’re so clever!)
Oh, but it doesn’t stop there…

Apparently Ferrett and friends were so blown away by their ability to demand access to women’s bodies that they decided to make buttons to distribute at an upcoming software and science fiction convention:

At Penguicon, we had buttons to give away. There were two small buttons, one for each camp: A green button that said, “YES, you may” and a red button that said “NO, you may not.” And anyone who had those buttons on, whether you knew them or not, was someone you could approach and ask: “Excuse me, but may I touch your breasts?”
And if you weren’t a total lout – the women retained their right to say no, of course – they would push their chests out, and you would be allowed into the sanctity of it. That exchange of happiness where one person are told with gropes and touches that they are desirable and the other is someone who’s allowed to desire.

Understandably, this puke-worthy “project” was instantly denounced by many, many others in the open-source software and science fiction community. The Ferrett issued a sputtering “clarification” that was just as bad as the original post. (It included the defense that because women were among the gropers, it couldn’t be that sexist, right? Nevermind the fact that only women were the gropees.)
And then, showing an incredibly amount of sense for a mid-sized rodent mustelid who had just advocated a public groping project, he issued an apology:

If I’ve contributed to the idea that women are not safe, then I’ve failed with a capital “F,� regardless of the underlying reality. And if people think that all cons are filled with horrific swarms of gropers, well, then I’ve also failed.

Yes. FAIL. But rather than dwell on the Ferrett’s many failures, I choose instead to heartily endorse the “Open Source Swift Kick to the Balls Project.” (Men, of course, would indicate their preference for ball-kicking by wearing a button. They would have the right to say no, so it’s not like this is sexist or violent or anything!)
The software world is not exactly one I’m familiar with, so thanks to readers Zing and Jennifer for the heads up. And if you are into tech stuff and science fiction, check out WisCon (“world’s leading feminist science fiction convention”). I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that you will not be asked to wear a button indicating whether you’d like to be groped.