One of the strangest things I encounter in anti-violence work is the number of people (usually young men) who are desperately afraid that, if we start really cracking down on rape, they will end up in jail. Their concern doesn’t seem to be that they’ve already raped someone, but that they might in the future despite their very best efforts–as though sexual assault were some kind of unfortunate accident nice boys happen upon occasionally.

Thomas MacAulay Millar at the Yes Means Yes blog posted a great essay yesterday urging teenage boys nervous about Steubenville to calm the fuck down. He doesn’t urge them to be any less vigilant in their concern for consent, but to recognize that their behavior (including, ...