Oh, this is going to be fun. In Laurens County in South Carolina, the Republican Party decided that in order to be on the ballot, you should pledge that you’ve never had pre-marital sex and will never watch porn again.

This is part of a 28-point pledge concocted which also includes hating gays, abortion and all that good stuff, but what has brought about the most attention is the piece that aspiring candidates would vow that they’ve never done the deed before marriage. The language states:

You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.

You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are ...