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By roz warren • 11 years ago

Missing “Downton Abbey”? Try Fay Weldon’s “Habits of the House”

Let’s face it: you’re addicted. You can’t live without it. When you’re not actually enjoying it, you’re longing to savor it again. You’d be ashamed to admit how many waking moments you’ve devoted to obsessing about it.

I’m not talking about drugs, kinky sex or even double chocolate layer cake.

I’m taking about Downton Abbey. You can’t get enough of those crazy Crawleys and their long-suffering servants. The gorgeous settings! The fabulous clothing! The crisp British-accented dialog! The oddly compelling plot twists. (Pre-eclampsia? Who saw that coming?)

You’ve watched every season. Twice. But you hunger for more.

I’ve got good news. British novelist Fay Weldon has just written a novel, “Habits of the House“ that’s so close to watching “Downton Abbey” that you can practically hear the theme music as you read it.

Weldon, who has written dozens of novels and won countless awards, has long been popular in the U.K. She’s even a Commander of the British Empire! (I don’t know what that is either, but isn’t it a fabulous credential for an 81-year-old woman?) More to the point, Weldon co-wrote the pilot of the original “Upstairs Downstairs,“ from whose DNA Downton Abbey was undeniably cloned.

Weldon’s novels tend to be acerbic and provocative, and often contain a sharp feminist critique of patriarchal culture. And while some of her recent books have been so meta and disgruntled as to be nearly unreadable, “Habits of the House,” is a page-turner, packed with wit, wry observation and fascinating period detail.

By roz warren • 11 years ago

What’s straight and gay and funny as hell?

The provocative podcasting duo “Throwing Shade” recently played the east coast for the first time, but even if you live here you probably missed it. Their Philly show sold out the day after tickets went on sale. When The Arts Bank added an extra show, that one sold out in an hour.

Their New York City gig sold out within an hour too.

So what the hell is “Throwing Shade” and if they’re so popular, why haven’t you heard of them?

“Throwing Shade” is two 30-something comics, Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi. She’s straight. He’s gay. They’re pals. Once a week they get together and riff about current events, politics, pop culture and sex. They’re quick-witted. They’re well-informed. And they‘re funny when they‘re ...

By roz warren • 11 years ago

Greener Than Thou: Saving The Earth, One Smackdown At A Time

Terry reaches over and shuts off the water as his wife brushes her teeth. “You don’t need to run the water when the toothbrush is in your mouth,” he chides. “You’re wasting a valuable resource.”

“Our marriage is a valuable resource too,” Deb responds. “And if you want to conserve it, you’ll get the hell out of this bathroom and let me brush in peace.”

“Suit your self,” says Terry. “But when this lovely planet becomes a cesspool due to just this kind of thoughtless waste, you may come to regret your selfishness.”

Deb, reluctantly, turns off the water. The planet is saved. But her mood is ruined.

Terry leaves the bathroom smiling. He’s discovered the unique thrill that comes from saving the earth ...

“Our marriage is ...

By roz warren • 11 years ago

Bert & Ernie: The Pre Nup

By Roz Warren and Janet Golden

Now that President Obama has endorsed gay marriage, it will soon become legal everywhere in America, including, of course, Sesame Street, which means Bert and Ernie can finally tie the knot! Their just signed pre-nup was leaked to us by a Muppet whose identity we’ve promised not to reveal, in return for a batch of warm chocolate chip cookies. We’ve learned that, should the couple ever break up:

Ernie will stay in the marital domicile on Sesame Street. Bert gets the condo on Avenue Q.

Bert gets the Streisand albums. The Scissors Sisters Cds go to Ernie.

The parties will share joint custody of the rubber ducky. The rubber ducky will go with Ernie on Thanksgiving and Christmas, ...

By Roz Warren and Janet Golden

By roz warren • 11 years ago

Brand Spanking New: A Librarian Reviews A Sex Book

*Editor’s note: NSFW

I got an unexpected package in the mail the other day. Because I’m a book reviewer, I somehow ended up on the list of folks who get review copies from Cleis Press, a publisher of feminist erotica. Imagine my surprise when I opened my package at the counter of the local post office, (where all the clerks know me) to find a brand new copy of “The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge.”

As my post office pals snickered at me, I opened a page at random and read: “Missionary never felt so good. He’s [boinking] you hard as you lie on your back: you pound on his back with your fists.” (Trust me ...

*Editor’s note: NSFW

I got an unexpected package in the mail the other day. Because I’m a book reviewer, I somehow ended up on the list of folks who get review copies from Cleis Press, a publisher of ...

By roz warren • 11 years ago

Cartoonist Isabella Bannerman: Funny at 51

“Now that I’m 51,” cartoonist Isabella Bannerman tells me, “cartooning is easier than it’s ever been. I don’t care the way I did about what other people think. I‘ve stopped censoring myself. It gives me tremendous freedom.”

Bannerman, who has contributed the Monday cartoon to King Feature’s popular “Six Chix” strip for over a decade, has always loved making people laugh. She grew up in a family that valued humor. “My parents loved to laugh,” she recalls, “so being funny got me a lot of attention.” After years of amusing friends and family with her humorous drawings, Bannerman’s cartooning career was launched in 1987, when her sister suggested that she submit a cartoon to the San Francisco Bay Guardian Cartoon contest. ...

Bannerman, ...

By roz warren • 11 years ago

When bad things happen to other people

Years ago, I was involved in a family tragedy so startling and heartbreaking that it made the front page of not only my local newspaper, but “People” and “The National Enquirer.” I’m not going to tell you anything about it. This means that you won’t be able to Google the worst day of my life and read about it while sipping your morning coffee.

But you probably want to.

I’m guessing that at least a few of the people reading this have already plugged my name into a search engine, just to check.

I’ve never understood why people get a kick out of reading about the awful things that happen to others. All I know is that Schadenfreude is alive and well on ...

By roz warren • 11 years ago

Fifty Shades of OMG

When I purchased my copy of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” the first book in the Fifty Shades trilogy, the cashier asked if I wanted a receipt. “Absolutely,“ I told her. “I’m reading the book for review, so I’ll be reimbursed.“

“I want YOUR job,” she said. laughing “This book is hot!”

It sure is, both in the sense that it’s full of steamy sex and that it’s a runaway bestseller. Penned by British first-time author E. L. James, who released it as an e-book, the trilogy sold so well that Vintage Books published a print edition, which became an instant best seller. The library system where I work owns 92 copies of the first book alone. Last time I checked the reserve ...