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By pluralist • 15 years ago

Nice Girl(tm) Defence: She Couldn’t Have Done It!

Sometimes I float along in my feminist/anti-racist worldview, believing that I have somehow transcended the tired and mundane and damaging stereotypes of cis and trans women and men. I talk to any woman who will listen about how she has a right to good sex and that being pretty or "promiscuous" doesn’t mean you deserve abuse or rape. I specifically chose a doctor at my student health clinic who teaches in Women’s and Gender Studies to perform my first gynecological exam/pap smear. But, of course, life throws us curve balls.

Since November by best friend has been having relationship problems. She is cis and het as is her boyfriend and they’ve been a committed and monogamous relationship for about 4 years now. The whole story is too long to recount, but as of a week ago they began a "break they need in order to stay together".

Suffice it to say the first two days were hellish as I talked to one of the loves my life breaking down over the phone. But during one of the more lucid moments, she told me that – among a lot of alleged grievances – she had (unknowingly) forced her boyfriend into sex.
By pluralist • 15 years ago

When It’s Someone You Know

I feel compelled to post about this because I need to share it with someones who can understand from a feminist perspective.

I’m a second year university student, last year my roommate (potluck) [referred to as C] and I became very close friends. From the minute she walked in the door of our little room, we were friends. And within the first 7 hours of knowing her, she was fighting with her boyfriend (who was several years her senior).

He was mad because she had left her phone on vibrate in her backpack and didn’t answer when he called (I was showing her around campus because she’d only been there once before, whereas I’d spent several days just roaming around). That fight ...

I feel compelled to post about this because I need to share it with someones who can understand from a feminist perspective.

I’m a second year university student, last year my roommate (potluck) [referred to as C] and ...
By pluralist • 15 years ago

Ignorance Ain’t Bliss

Hi Feministing! I’ve only left one or two comments here and there, but this is something I’ve been wanting to write about for a long time now but could never think of a venue that would be open to a topic like this. I’ve wanted to put this out as a facebook note, but then I realise that 105 people could see it, including the lady who used to babysit me, my sister-in-law, and people who really don’t know me all that well.

So, I chose a group of strangers who’ve infuriated me, awed me, humbled me, taught me, and caused me to avoid countless assignments over the past semester.

I’m going to turn 19 in 8 days, I’ve always had feminist ...

Hi Feministing! I’ve only left one or two comments here and there, but this is something I’ve been wanting to write about for a long time now but could never think of a venue that would be ...