jln04a

Last night I was sitting in an AA meeting.  There were about 50 people there, only five of whom were women.  I have known about the gender disparities within AA for some time, so this was nothing new to me.  However, one comment seemed to highlight that.

A man, probably in his 50s, was speaking when another guy fell asleep only to wake himself up by mumbling something.  The older man said something about how he often puts women to sleep, but if it happens again, "I’ll do what I did to those women, and have my way [with you]."  The comment was inappropriate to say the least, but what really bothered me was the number of young men who laughed uproariously. 

Last I checked there was nothing funny about rape; last I checked having your way with someone while he/she was asleep is rape.

At the end of the meeting the chair announced that there was a men’s phone list.  I leaned over and mentioned that there is also a women’s phone list.  He replied that there "weren’t any women here."  Clearly there were since I was there, and I was not the only woman.

Personally, AA has been pivotal in my healing, but some still cling to the gender roles that make AA masculine–thus leaving out many people. 

Does anyone else have similar experiences?