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By Elliott • 11 years ago

Pedagogy of the Undressed: It’s Poly Time!


Hello and welcome to another installment of Pedagogy of the Undressed! This week, we’re going to explore the wild and exciting world of polyamory!

So I have a question about polyamory. My cismale SO and I just decided to open up our relationship. I have my OKCupid account and I’m pretty excited about an upcoming date. My question is mostly what are the guidelines? I don’t want to hurt any feelings. I don’t know how open I should be with my peers. If my SO is seeing someone who is also in an open relationship, where will they have sex? Do I have to be comfortable with strangers in our bed to be GGG? 

Thanks!

Pondering open lifestyle 

So, for folks who are unfamiliar, opening up your relationship or practicing Polyamory (Poly, for short) is when you and whomever you partner with create agreements around having sexual, romantic, or kink relationships with multiple people.

Every poly relationship is different, so for as many different couples as there are in the world, there are that many different ways to have an open relationship. The difference between poly relationships and cheating is that all parties involved are aware of all the relationships, have the opportunity to discuss boundaries and feelings as they come up, and can give consent to participating in the relationship(s).

I will go over a few of the different things that can be helpful to think about and talk about when it comes to opening ...
By Elliott • 11 years ago

Pedagogy of the Undressed: The art of role-playing

Welcome to another installment of Pedagogy of the Undressed! This week, we’re going to be talking about the fine art of role-playing. A reader asks:

“Hi. I imagine you can tell I read your sex ed article and had a question. 
Alright so it’s nothing to extreme but I have no clue how to role play my (sadomasochistic switch) girlfriend wants to try but I (sadist) can’t for the life of me get into it. Any suggestions?”

Role-playing can be an amazing way to explore all kinds of different dynamics, feelings, and fantasies with the people you play with. Getting into a role play can be a bit of a challenge, and you’re definitely not alone in ...

Welcome to another installment of Pedagogy of the Undressed! This week, we’re going to be talking about the fine art of role-playing. A reader asks:

“Hi. I imagine you can tell I read ...
By Elliott • 11 years ago

Pedagogy of the Undressed: Come on in! Entering through the back door

Welcome to another edition of Pedagogy of the Undressed! I got some questions from folks, and I am super excited to talk about anal play this week.

“Can you write more about back-door activities in general? I want to learn more about the back door but I don’t know where to go for it. I was reminded of this because of what you said about fisting — it’s both desirable and intimidating. For me, any back-door activity is also like that, which I think also happens because I am not as informed about back doors as other body parts.”

Anal play can be super fun and feel AHMAZING with the right folks, the right timing, and the right sensations. There ...

Welcome to another edition of Pedagogy of the Undressed! I got some questions from folks, and I am super excited to talk about anal play this week.

“Can you write more about back-door activities in general? ...

femenfisting2
By Elliott • 11 years ago

Pedagogy of the Undressed: A how-to guide for feminist fisting

Welcome to the very first post in Feministing’s new sex advice/education column! I’m Elliott, a poly queer kinky trans POC community organizer and radical sex educator. I’ve been educating folks on how to safely and consensually let their freak flags fly for 10 years. I’ve been a peer educator through Planned Parenthood’s  “Reach One Teach One” program, worked at the Sexual Offense Prevention Policy Offices of Antioch College, was a founding member of the Sex E Collective at the New School, and peddled sex toys at the feminist and queer-owned stores Smitten Kitten and Babeland.

I believe that having hot, safe(r), and consensual sex is a vital tool in reclaiming our bodies and giving patriarchy and misogyny a big ...

Welcome to the very first post in Feministing’s new sex advice/education column! I’m Elliott, a poly queer kinky trans POC community organizer and radical sex educator. I’ve been educating folks on how to safely ...