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By cunegonde • 15 years ago

Who Decides if it’s Rape?

Touchy subject, probably triggering.

I was raped last September. (Or if I’m going to phrase it actively, a rapist raped me.) Sort of.

Mine is one of those gray-area cases that are tragically common, yet don’t get much attention in the culture at large. I’m using my own personal experience to frame the issue.

I think the perpetrator thinks I gave consent. I did say "I can’t," but I never explicitly said "NO." I never physically resisted. The perpetrator was even going to walk away at one point and leave me, but I eventually did say ok, let’s just do it, for fear of the "cocktease" rumors that I thought would abound among our mutual circle of friends. I realize now that that "reasoning" is extremely fucked. We were both very, very drunk.

I feel like I was raped. It’s been almost a year and I’m still afraid of most heterosexual men. I still get flashbacks and cry every now and then, though I have been able to enjoy consensual sex.

I think the perpetrator thinks it was just a stupid thing we did.

So who decides?

I’m leery to use the R-word when talking about… IT, not because I don’t feel like it was rape but because I think the people I’m talking to don’t think it is. I started seeing a therapist after the incident and she never used the word either, after I told her the details. I get the vibe that people think I’m being a ...
By cunegonde • 15 years ago

Misogyny on the Internet

I write a mildly feminist, mostly pop culture and arts related blog.  Until yesterday, only people I knew actually read it regularly.  I’ve been getting quite a bit of positive feedback, and I want to keep blogging and maybe it’ll get big one day.

Last night, someone linked my blog on a thread on 4chan, and everything’s exploded.  I’ve got 900 page views and about about 600 diferent viewers since then.  Also, 13 comments on individual posts.

Of the blog comments, maybe half of them say anything worthwhile at all (though I may disagree).  The rest are trolls of the "make me a sammich" variety.  Of the posts in the 4chan thread, maybe 10% is worthwhile.

I fully realize that 4chan is the ...

I write a mildly feminist, mostly pop culture and arts related blog.  Until yesterday, only people I knew actually read it regularly.  I’ve been getting quite a bit of positive feedback, and I want to keep blogging ...
By cunegonde • 15 years ago

10-Year-Olds Opinions of Planned Parenthood?

I’m in an acting class right now.  My classmates and I all created characters based on animals, and on Monday were having a big town meeting where we get together, in character, and debate an issue.  This year the issue is, Planned Parenthood is going to open a clinic in our town, and tehy’re going to offer abortion services and all of the other things Planned Parenthood does.  If we were debating this issue as ourselves, I would be very eagerly pro-Planned Parenthood.  As it stands now, I have no idea where I would place my character. 

My character is a precocious 10 year old girl, who won an essay contest and is at the meeting to read her essay on ...

I’m in an acting class right now.  My classmates and I all created characters based on animals, and on Monday were having a big town meeting where we get together, in character, and debate an issue.  This ...
By cunegonde • 15 years ago

Homemade Domestic Violence Video Game

I’m in a class called "Interactive Technologies and Live Performance."  The title is pretty self explanatory, we learn about new interactive digital technologies and how to perform specifically for them.  Every few weeks we have an assignment in which we have to apply the latest concept we learned to a homemade film or video art project.  We presented our projects last class and today.

One of the projects that presented today was a girl on screen switching from a fairly androgynous ponytail, tank top and pants to an updo and floral dress, taking hits.  The viewer had a Wii remote and based on how they swung it around, the girl would feel the hit in her face, side, stomach, whatever.  The ...

I’m in a class called "Interactive Technologies and Live Performance."  The title is pretty self explanatory, we learn about new interactive digital technologies and how to perform specifically for them.  Every few weeks we have an assignment ...
By cunegonde • 15 years ago

My Breasts, Their Connotations

I have large breasts, big hips and a small waist.  I tend to dress elegantly, even for casual situations.  I wear a lot of black, a lot of dresses, and I like to play up my curves and look nice.  I wear scoop neck and V neck tops pretty often, and of course there’s the cleavage that comes with it.  Even when I wear crew neck tops, bam, my breasts are right there.  I don’t like to wear baggy things, and why should I?  Street harassment’s been a problem for me since I was 14 or so and I grew my breasts in the first place, and while the catcalls have always bothered me greatly I never really thought about ...

I have large breasts, big hips and a small waist.  I tend to dress elegantly, even for casual situations.  I wear a lot of black, a lot of dresses, and I like to play up my curves ...