Jennifer Lawrence on getting paid less than her male co-stars and being likable

In the latest Lenny Letter, actress Jennifer Lawrence writes about learning, thanks to the Sony leak, that she was paid less than her male American Hustle co-stars. 

She says that she blamed herself for not negotiating harder but also explores why it was she didn’t push that hard. Admitting that it’s “difficult to speak about my experience as a working woman because I can safely say my problems aren’t exactly relatable” — she was negotiating over millions of dollars — she speaks to a dynamic that is all-too-relatable to the rest of us non-millionaire women too.

I would be lying if I didn’t say there was an element of wanting to be liked that influenced my decision to close the deal without a real fight. I didn’t want to seem “difficult” or “spoiled.” This could be a young-person thing. It could be a personality thing. I’m sure it’s both. But this is an element of my personality that I’ve been working against for years, and based on the statistics, I don’t think I’m the only woman with this issue. Are we socially conditioned to behave this way?… Could there still be a lingering habit of trying to express our opinions in a certain way that doesn’t “offend” or “scare” men?

Of course, the really shitty part is that this habit of trying to find ways to express our opinions without offending is sorta necessary. As the study I wrote about last week shows, expressing anger does undermine women’s ability to be persuasive. Not only that but — as this experience of Lawrence’s demonstrates — women are treated as if they angry even when they are simply speaking like men do all the time:

A few weeks ago at work, I spoke my mind and gave my opinion in a clear and no-bullshit way; no aggression, just blunt. The man I was working with (actually, he was working for me) said, “Whoa! We’re all on the same team here!” As if I was yelling at him. I was so shocked because nothing that I said was personal, offensive, or, to be honest, wrong. All I hear and see all day are men speaking their opinions, and I give mine in the same exact manner, and you would have thought I had said something offensive.

Lawrence concludes: “I’m over trying to find the ‘adorable’ way to state my opinion and still be likable! Fuck that. I don’t think I’ve ever worked for a man in charge who spent time contemplating what angle he should use to have his voice heard. It’s just heard.” Word. But then again, she also notes that “another leaked Sony email revealed a producer referring to a fellow lead actress in a negotiation as a ‘spoiled brat.'”

As Ann has written before, women are damned if they don’t negotiate hard and damned if they do. We’re looking at one of those lose-lose situation in which sexism always wins. And as Reina has written, those are the kind that show the flaw is in the system, not in us.

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