The cyle of violence, as depicted in Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” video

Pop darling and newly-minted feminist Taylor Swift recently debuted her newest music video, “Blank Space,” from the mega-hit album 1989. 

But what was meant to be satirical look at how the media portrays her quickly devolved into a textbook example of relationship violence. Let’s take a closer look at the different phases of the Cycle of Violence, the most common model used to describe what domestic violence looks like.

1. The Honeymoon Phase

The Cycle of Violence typically begins calmly, with the abuser and the partner enjoying a relatively peaceful relationship. This can last month or years; it sometimes lasts just a few days.

2. Tension Builds. 

The pressures of daily life keep building, with the abuser becoming continuously more tense and the partner continuously more cautious. Common symptoms of the tension-building phase include: jealousy, money trouble, legal trouble, unemployment, etc.

3. Crisis.

The tension-building phase meets its breaking point and the abuser lashes out against the abuse. There are several different examples of violence, including:

Destroying property.

Verbally abusing, humiliating and threatening the partner.

And intimidating the partner with weapons and physical violence.

4. Reconciliation.

The abuser feels remorse for the abuse and apologizes to the partner. This phase typically marks the end of violence in that given cycle, with promises that the abuser will change and never use violence again. The abuser will often use threats of suicide or self-harm to guilt the partner into staying/prevent them from leaving.

Once the abuser feels forgiven, the pair will usually move back into the honeymoon phase — sometimes for several months or years, sometimes for just a few days. Typically, as relationships progress, the honeymoon and reconciliation phases get shorter, until the cycle is continuous switch between tension-building and crisis.

Watch the entire video and share your thoughts on Twitter with #TaylorSwiftFeminism:

If you or someone you know is in a violent relationship, please call the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network at 1-800-656-HOPE.