Why there is no way in hell Michele Bachmann can become America’s first woman president

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I turn to my wise friend and Feministing alumna Ann Friedman, who said in response to John McCain’s pick of Sarah Palin as his VP in the 2008 election: “A woman candidate is not the same thing as a woman’s candidate.”

Sure, we could say it’s unlikely Michele Bachmann will get a presidential nomination — after all, just 5 percent of Republicans in a recent poll they would consider her their candidate. But considering the high marks she got across the board after Monday’s GOP debate, you just never know where the direction of this electoral circus will go. So let’s remind ourselves of exactly how extreme and warped of a human being Michele Bachmann is — and how having her as the first woman president of the U.S. would not only just be the worst thing ever, but would also probably mean the demise of this country. Let’s see…

• She would ban abortion in all cases — that includes women who were victims of rape and incest
• She’s said that black people and “other minorities” are to blame for the financial crisis
• According to her, not only are the gays coming for your kids, but that LGBT folks have “sexual disfunction” and “identity disorders”
• She’s trying to convince folks she’s been anointed by God to stop the gays from marrying each other
• She has said global warming is a “all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax”
• She implies evolution might be as well and advocates for the teaching “intelligent design” in schools
• She’s called for the end of Medicare and Social Security
• She endorsed a report that basically calls to prohibit practicing Muslims from participating in government (or immigrating to the U.S.)
• Official Michele Bachmann quote: “There is a movement afoot that’s occurring and part of that is whole philosophical idea of multi-cultural diversity, which on the face sounds wonderful. Let’s appreciate and value everyone’s cultures. But guess what? Not all cultures are equal. Not all values are equal.”

And that is just the tip of the iceberg, my friends. Katrina vanden Heuvel at The Nation said it for me yesterday:

While her followers portray Bachmann as a “modern woman,” never forget that what she really represents is a retro throwback to a kind of American that is intolerant, bigoted and out of step with the best instincts and possibilities of this country.