If Cher Could Turn Back Time

Originally posted on personal blog.

The always delightful Cher appeared on David Letterman’s show last week to promote her new film — which I’m very excited for! — Burlesque. During the nearly twenty-five minute interview, the subject of Cher’s son, Chaz’s (formerly Chastity) gender transition came up. What ensued was a very open and honest dialogue about gender identity, how Chaz approached the subject with his mother, and how Cher has dealt with the change (click the link above to watch the video).

Almost immediately, LGBTQ bloggers (including one in particular) criticized Cher for her repeated use of female pronouns when referring to Chaz, identifying Chaz as a lesbian, and expressing her difficulty with coming to terms with Chaz’s identity.

While it is easy to condemn the performer for repeatedly misspeaking, I found the conversation to be incredibly refreshing, and surprisingly candid for an interview on the Late Show. Letterman, who’s been known to make the occasional offensive joke or two, approached the topic of Chaz’s gender identity with the utmost of care, giving Cher the freedom to talk about how their relationship evolved over the years and how Chaz came to make this difficult decision. Even when Letterman did include a joke during the conversation, it was at his own expense and not at Cher’s or Chaz’s.

I think the reason so many are appalled by Cher’s language and supposed ignorance is because the transgender community is so isolated and misunderstood already. While gay men and lesbians have made strides in achieving equality, transgender people are often an afterthought — and the first to be thrown overboard by their supposed allies in a crisis. So many conversations about the transgender community have to start with the very basic “this is the difference between sex and gender,” that shifting the public’s consciousness around this issue seems especially slow-going.

But here we have a 64-year-old woman, whom many (especially older Americans) identify as the stereotypical gay icon, confessing that even she had difficulty understanding Chaz’s identity. After all, she reminds us that she knew Chaz as Chastity for over 30 years; but indicates that their relationship is as strong as ever (and Chaz has apparently told his mother that pronouns aren’t as important). To me, I would rather have a parent talk about their experience with a transgender (or gay) child in an intimate and honest manner, rather than recall the experience in a conversation laced with acronyms and scientific jargon. After all, Letterman’s audience is primarily made up of Middle Americans; and I’m sure some mother out there found comfort in Cher’s words.

What I have been very surprised at is the lack of criticism directed at Bill Maher for ridiculing both Cher and Chaz on his HBO program, something Letterman and Cher brought up. Maher likes to position himself as the liberal Glenn Beck, ridiculing conservatives and religious individuals while bringing down uninformed politicians (i.e. Christine O’Donnell). It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to know that the guy who strives to topple Jon Stewart as the voice of the progressive movement is so ignorant (and hateful?) that he feels justified in ridiculing a significant segment of the liberal base. I’m also curious why I read numerous articles decrying Cher’s language choices, but did not hear so much as a peep about Maher’s “joke” until I watched her interview with Letterman?

Sure, Cher made a few poor word choices in her interview that she might wish she could change, but she presented to viewers at home an honest account of an understanding mother whose child just happens to be a little different.