Vaginismus

Hi everyone,

To begin, I apologize if this is somewhat off-topic for this community, but to me it is relevant. This is about the condition called "vaginismus." For those who don’t know, vaginismus is an involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles which make penetration (not necessarily sexual) painful or impossible.

I was finally diagnosed with this condition about a month and a half ago, after over six months of increasing pain when attempting penetrative intercourse with my boyfriend (with whom I have been sexually active for over 2 1/2 years). I suppose the distinctly feminist part of this post is that, despite my many trips to the local youth clinic to attempt to diagnose the problem, none of the nurses or doctors I saw seemed to be informed enough to identify the problem. Instead, they gave me three different kind of medications to take all at once, since "though I didn’t show any signs of bacterial infections, they might be there anyway." The medications made me extremely ill, and no better. When I returned, they said there was nothing more they could do for me.

Finally, my family doctor managed to identify the condition, and give me a referral to a clinic. After another three or four weeks, the clinic informed her that they were no longer in operation, and tried to have her send me to a chronic pain clinic (which is in no way relevant to the condition I am experiencing). Finally, she found another clinic which would be able to treat me. After another three weeks of waiting, I have received a letter from them. They will be happy to see me, and have booked me an appointment… for November 2, 2010.

This is where I turn to the community. As I said, I apologize if this is too off-topic. But to me, the condition is irreparably tied to my identity as a feminist. Not only is hurting my relationship and making it difficult for my current anti-anxiety and anti-depression treatment to be effective, but it makes me feel alienated by my own feminine body.

If anyone has any advice for me, it would be more appreciated than you could possibly know. I’ve found some suggestions online, but I would like first-hand experience. Finding out that I have to wait another 7 months to begin seeing a specialist has been very painful for me, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go for advice.