Better Hurry Up and Get Married & Have Babies Before It’s Too Late!!!

Hello, I just want to vent about something that I find extremely annoying and baffling. I’m sure many of you have probably experienced the same thing, and I just wanted to hear some other opinions and feedback on this subject. I am 28 years old, I spent 6 years working towards my Bachelor’s degree, I finally have a professional, well-paying career, and I have hopes of attaining a Master’s degree. I have spent my 20’s chasing down all of my wildest dreams and goals….I have been on television, I have done modeling work, and I currently hold TWO state pageant queen titles. I have done things that many women can only dream of. While many of my female counterparts have aged from having children and having stressful jobs, I have maintained my youth through constant exercise and still look 10 years younger than my real age. Right now, the entire world is in my hands and I can do whatever I want. Other than getting my Master’s, the only thing I have not done yet is get married and had babies yet. I have had 2 unplanned pregnancies before that did not come to term, but I just rolled with whatever life dealt me. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. I figure that everything happens for a reason, and the reason why I have not had children yet is because God has many great things planned for me to do first. As for marriage, I was engaged once when I was in my early 20’s, but I ended the relationship because the reality of making such a huge commitment like that suddenly sank in. To me, marriage is a BIG decision, and it’s definitely not something I want to rush into or enter into lightly…especially since I don’t believe in divorce unless it’s absolutely necessary. I live in a rural area where there just aren’t very many desirable men at all, and I happen to be very picky about the kind of men I want to be with. My father has always told me to never settle for less than what I truly want, so I have been content to remain single for long periods of time instead of settling for a man I truly don’t want to be with just so that I can be attached to somebody. I know in my heart that God will bring the right man for me along when the time is right, and I will reap the benefits of it.

My only problem is other women who just can’t accept the path that my life has taken and feel the need to condemn me for being “an old dried-up, lonely spinster” at the ripe old age of 28.

Because we all know that our eggs dry up and reach menopause by the
time we’re 30. Uh huh. I guess it was only a random miracle act of God
that my aunt had TWO healthy babies at age 39 and 42!! Many of these
women who put me down for not being a married mother already are women
who rushed into marriage & motherhood in their very early twenties.
(One of them even rushed to the courthouse to marry a man she had only
known for 2 WEEKS!!!) However, I know why these women hurried to get
married and pregnant so soon in their lives, and it has nothing to do
with “finding the love of their lives.” It’s all about insecurity. I
know as well as I know the back of my own hand that they rushed into
marriage and parenthood because they were desperately seeking security.
Their self-worth and validation relies solely on being loved and
fitting into a pre-determined “woman’s role” that provides them with a
sense of security and purpose. Being a “wifey & mommy” as they call
it is what defines them as a person and defines their worth as people.
They think to themselves, “Oh I’m 22 now, it’s time for me to start
cooking, cleaning, and changing diapers like a woman is supposed to!”
Many of these women did not attend or complete college. They have no
college degrees or jobs, they stay at home and rely solely on the
financial support of their husbands. I’m not saying that being a
stay-at-home wife & mother is bad, but no one should do that just
because they are insecure and want to be taken care of. Why throw away
your own life just to be half of a couple? But anyway, they have chosen
their path in life, and I have chosen mine. So why can’t they just
worry about themselves and let that be? Why put so much energy into
telling me that I’m worthless because “nobody loves me” or that I am
somehow missing out on life because I haven’t popped out a kid or two
yet? Just because they rushed into being tied down so early in life and
are missing out on all of the fun there is to be had in your early
adulthood years doesn’t mean that I have to do that, too!! Right now, I
am enjoying my freedom and the ability to do whatever I want and chase
down any goal that I want. I may not be busy changing diapers or
cleaning up puke, but I still have important work to do here. I want to
save the world, I want to get involved more deeply in the social issues
that I am passionate about, I would like to see my articles and blogs
published more widely, I have daydreams of becoming a political pundit,
and I want to compete in many more beauty pageants. Being married or
having a child disqualifies you from many of the pageant systems out
there (unless you’re competing for a Ms. or Mrs. Title). I enjoy being
able to do what I like whenever I feel like it without being tied down,
and I enjoy being able to spend all of my hard-earned money on myself.
Just call me selfish, I guess. Even when I have dated men that I have
really liked a lot, I rarely ever seriously think about getting married
and spending the rest of my life with them. I have only considered
doing this with 2 of the men I have ever dated. And that’s because when
I really stop and think about it, marriage is a BIG commitment that
shouldn’t be take lightly. I guess I’m just a free-spirited person who
enjoys being able to do whatever I want too much and the thought of
settling down with just one person for the rest of my life makes me
kind of nervous. I know how much work and commitment it takes to make a
marriage work, and I don’t want to end up like these idiots who rushed
to marry young: divorced at an early age or in a drama-filled,
unhealthy relationship. If their lives are so great being young wives
and mothers, then why are they so focused on when and whether I’m going
to marry and have kids or not???? Personally, I believe it’s because
they truly aren’t as happy as they claim to be. They killed their
dreams and goals and cut their youth short when they said “I Do” and
got knocked up soon after. They are stuck at home raising babies and
depending on someone else’s money to support them. They can’t go out
and have fun and do whatever they want like I can (although some of
them do leave their babies at home every weekend to go out to the bars
and party). Deep down, I think they resent losing their youth and
freedom and watching me enjoy every bit of mine. This whole “I have a
sexy husband who loves me and a beautiful baby unlike SOME people”
nonsense just seems to smack of some hidden resentment and insecurity.
Any other thoughts on this????