Male Stripping and Public Assault

Been lurking for a while, first-time post, yadda yadda.
I was reminded of this situation by a post several pages back about surprise male stripping, and how the woman for whom the stripper was purchased was groped and embarrassed by the stripper in question.  I have a similar experience to share, which I almost left in a comment, but decided should just be a new post since it’s kind of long.

I’m not an especially sexually conservative person, though I am a virgin and tend to carry myself in a sort of ‘prim’ way.  The bride’s cousin thought it would be funny for she and I to go up onstage for the imminent male stripping act, and I gave in because I figured it’d be a gag act and we’d all just laugh about it later.

What actually happened was quite different from what I’d imagined.  The stripper did remove most of his clothes as could be expected, but the act seemed based more around touching and humiliating the women onstage; I feel sick to my stomach even thinking about the way he touched me.  Not only was he much larger than myself (I’m pretty small), but he was unresponsive to when I would shake my head or try to push him away.  Nobody realized anything was wrong, because I laugh when I’m uncomfortable, and it probably looked like I was having fun.  The act contained everything from simply touching us to miming graphic sex; he quickly discovered that I’m easy to pick up and I had almost no physical defense against his advances, however staged they were supposed to have been.  When it was over and I had retreated back to the alcove where we’d been sitting, one of the other bridesmaids laughingly said I looked "like a corpse" the whole time.

My reason for posting this is, I suppose, just to lay out some of the confusion I still feel about this incident, especially bearing in mind that I didn’t outright tell him "no" in spite of being hideously uncomfortable with the situation.  If I had, I’m not sure he would have heard me over the music.  A crowd full of people watched me being blatantly molested, but nobody knew anything was wrong until I lost my composure and burst into tears shortly after leaving the stage.  I never really realized how many layers there can be to a situation like this, and I imagine if I had complained to the club owner or the director of the strip show, they probably would have cited the fact that I never verbally told him to stop.

But that’s just speculation.  Anyway, I find it pretty abhorrent that the female stripping industry is about women showing themselves off and more or less humiliating themselves for male patrons, but the male stripping industry is about humiliating their female patrons…  because obviously the women want/need to feel a strong naked guy in control of them.  There’s no powerful position for women in the equation.

What’s bothering me the most is I still can’t convince myself that I did or said enough to justify my feelings of helplessness and having been invaded, when I know full well that simply shaking my head should have been plenty.  I wish I had something more intelligent or argumentative to say other than what I have, but the fact of the matter is, I’m reeling from what’s happened to me.