Ridiculous victim-blaming

I am so mad right now I am shaking. I have a friend on Facebook who wrote the following in response to a comment I had about how wrong it is to blame the victim:

It depends on who you call the victim. Maybe the analogy to a bully is better. People, who are attacked by bullies and do nothing about it, usually keep getting attacked. Bullies usually stop when they are confronted. Or what about women who marry men and stay with them even though they are abusive? At some point, the victim needs to make a stand in order to change that which they want changed. It won’t change itself. My comment about mothers raising children simply means that they have the power to control the future of their children’s ideas, so they should. Women can control some of it, if they confronted more. That is not blaming someone, that is informing them of what they can do to help themselves. The same thing with rape victims that dress scantily. They can control what they wear, so they should at least dress in less revealing clothes in certain circumstances. Of course, it will not always prevent rape but, if it gives some men less ideas, then it is a good thing.

I just don’t know what to say. It seems so overwhelming to even begin to respond. The scary part is that this is a well-educated family friend whose girlfriend is doing her Ph.D. in women’s studies! I don’t know why I’m posting this–I’m not really looking for advice, I just had to vent.

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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