The Anti-Choice Gauntlet

Many moons ago, I was on the pill.  I took it religiously, but as a human, i’m prone to mistakes.  I missed two pills, and in a moment of lapsed judgement, had condomless sex with my longer term boyfriend.  The next day I was on a wild goose chase for the coveted Plan B pill.

At the time, Plan B was still a prescription only drug.  I was screwed in the fact that it was Sunday and there was no way in hell I was letting 24 hours pass to get to my gynecologist.  I left work early, lying my butt off as to why (really didn’t want to say I needed to find the Plan B pill because I goofed up to my conservative, old-world-Italian boss), and began my search.

According to not2late.com, a clinic near my workplace was willing to write prescriptions for the emergency contraceptive pill, so I practically ran over there.  I walked in and consulted the receptionist, who looked very pained and sympathetic when she said they did not do walk-ins on Sunday.  She suggested the local Emergency Room, and wished me luck.  I nearly cried.  I was hoping to wrap this journey up quickly, and I really did not want to wait forever in the emergency room.  My local hospital has deplorable triage and I was positive I was going to wait forever.  Ever the trooper, I bussed over there.

I waited in the ER for two hours, getting antsy because if I missed the last bus, i’d be stuck at the hospital, and I’d have to call someone for a ride home, then have to explain WHY I was at the Emergency Room.  I finally got called back, my vitals were taken, and I waited on the ER doctor.  I felt bad for being there to begin with, because I knew there were very sick people in the waiting room and I was taking up their spot.  Just about then, the doctor walked in.  It was then I realized I was in for an ordeal.  On his collar was that damn ‘little feet’ pin.  I asked the Gods for strength.

So my doctor proceeded to treat me like I was a child.  I was 19 at the time, well versed in my reproductive rights, and not at all willing to put up with bullshit.  He told me that it was highly unlikely that I would become pregnant after missing two pills and having penis-in-vagina sex complete with ejaculation.  I said that may be so, but I was not willing to take my chances, and I wanted to take the Plan B pill as soon as possible.  He told me that the pill was ‘expensive’.  I said a pregnancy and a child would be much more expensive.  He then dropped the doosy.

"DO you know that the Plan B pill may cause an abortion if you do become pregnant?  Your baby may not implant as a result of the action of that pill?"

‘That pill.’  It’s Plan B, not cyanide.  And no, doctor, it does not cause an abortion.  I felt my irritation rise up in me; however, my time was slipping away and i really needed to catch the bus, so I swallowed my anger and nodded.  That I know that Plan B ’causes abortions.’  The doctor looked very grave, like I was Mary Magdalene herself.  I wanted to strangle him with his tie at that point.  

He told me he’d phone my gynecologist and have her phone in a script for me, had me sign a form for discharge, and I left.  While I was bussing towards the pharmacy, the ER doctor called my cell-phone.  He said my gynecologist had called him back and said she was having an issue with the pharmacist over my prescription so i might have some trouble, and if I do, to call him back at a number he gave me, and he’d see if he could help me further.  I was not a happy camper, praying I was not about to experience what other women have experienced with anti-choice pharmacists.  I walked off the bus and into the pharmacy, and back to the counter.

The pharmacist, an aging man with whisper gray hair and spectacles, smiled broadly at me and asked how he could help me.  I gave him my name and said I was here to pick up my prescription.  His chipper demeanor dropped like a brick to a cold, expressionless one and he nodded, then walked over to his young, female assistant.  He spoke with her, and they both stared at me while exchanging words.  She then went over and found my prescription bag, rang me up, and I then left.  I took the pills as I was supposed to, and I did not become pregnant.

I later decided this was all bullshit, and scheduled with my awesome gynecologist to get the Mirena.  During the consult, I asked her about the ordeal with the pharmacist.  She shooked her head and chuckled, then recounted the story.  The ER doctor called her personally and asked her to phone in a script for me (nice of him considering he was feeding me bullshit during my visit) so she called one in for me.  The pharmacist on duty said he refused to fill that prescription because he did not want to be an accessory to abortion.  They argued back and forth for a while until she threatened to refuse to send any more prescriptions from her patients to his pharmacy if he did not fill my script.  So he did. 

This entire event prompted me to get the Mirena, which has worked wonderfully so far, so I would never deal with that again.  I never thought I’d be one of those women.  It was embarassing and demeaning.  I would not wish that on another woman.