Children

As I get more and more into feminist theory, I feel like someone is removing a blindfold that I didn’t even know was over my eyes. I start to hear how something that I have grown so comfortable with is actually very hurtful to women.

My topic of late is toys for children and Disney princesses. This all started with a conversation I was having with my girlfriend late last night. I was playing on my phone well on the toilet (I have no boundaries…I am a very blunt person). I came across a picture of the Disney princesses. Now someone had redone their looks in order to correspond with what their ages would be now. I looked at them. I thought several things. One of them (which is what I said to my girlfriend) is that I don’t know if I want to let my kids watch Disney movies (more of the old ones like Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, etc. This would be excluding Mulan, Frozen, and Brave). She asked me why. I told her Disney movies really don’t teach young children the best things– particularly female children.

For an example, the one that scares me the most is Beauty and the Beast. If you look at the story line, what happens is a big scary monster kidnaps a young girl (the picture said she was 17), and he keeps her there until she likes it. Until she falls for him. If you really think about it, this story is about Stockholm syndrome (noun-feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim towards a captor). When my feminist theories professor said this to us, I almost gasped. I couldn’t believe it. She was right! I never looked at it like that. I just thought it was cute that they fell for each other, and everything was good.  You know what I mean?

To me, this idea is similar to when you are growing up (usually as a female), and adults say to you “He is [insert violent or mean action/words here] because he likes you”. I have to think what are we teaching our kids? One we are teaching our girls that violence against women isn’t just something that is okay, and we should accept, but it is also a part of love or a step in order to fall in love. We all know that the goal of human life is to get married (I will go into that a little later). To me, that is so scary! Like they should put this in a haunted house (Ha! At least then it wouldn’t be real).

Now think what we are teaching our boys. We are teaching them that it is okay to be mean or abusive towards women. We are telling them that girls will fall for them if they are assholes (Have you ever seen the post that says “Why do girls fall for assholes?”? Boom…right here. Mind. Blown). We are telling them that if the girl says no or shows that she does not like what you are doing to just try harder, don’t stop doing it. Guys, we are putting this in our children’s movies.

We are unconsciously putting this into their minds. Another thing: I looked at the pictures, and each Disney princess was a teenager! They ranged from the ages 14 to 19. It was Snow White, Jasmine, Ariel, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Belle. Now take a second to remember their stories. Did any of those not play the damsel in distress, need a man to save them, and to replay them, they fall in love, get married, and have babies? Nope.

One, we are teaching girls to be saved instead of to save themselves or not be in that position at all. Not to mention the fact that this means we are teaching the boys to be the savers (talk about pressure). Two, we are teaching the girls that you pretty much have to repay a guy with love, marriage, babies, and ultimately, sex (this is a little more of a stretch than the others, but still). Three, that the goal of life (exaggeration) is to get married. Think about it. These girls are how young getting married? This also ties into the idea that we let our daughters (usually) “play mommy” or carry baby dolls. What are we telling them with that? That they should be mothers? They have to have kids? They need to be motherly and nurturing? How about when we won’t let our songs touch the baby doll? What are we teaching our daughters then? That is only a woman’s duty to be motherly and nurturing? Only a woman can be active parent?

Now look at our sons. What are we teaching them by not letting them play with the baby dolls? One, that they can’t be motherly (even this term is an example of what I am talking about. Motherly. What does fatherly mean? I barely even noticed I was doing that…that is how ingrained and unconscious it is) and nurturing. Two, they can’t be “girly”. Three, that when they are fathers they shouldn’t take part in child rearing. That it is the mother’s “job”. Interesting, right? I mean this is not the case all the time. Nothing I ever say is 100%. Everyone is different. I just see my points as overall tendencies. For an example, my girlfriend was not even allowed to have a baby doll. Her mom snatched it out of her hands so fast and tossed it (personally, she is my hero). This is just my opinion and analysis. Just some yummy food for thought.