Stephanie

I write this reflection on the eve of Mother’s Day and the approach of my 29th birthday. As I pen this piece, I realize that I am approaching this from a place of white, cis privilege, so if I feel this way, I cannot begin to imagine the feelings that trans* folks go through when these similar issues are experienced.

When I was twelve, I was in a serious car accident. Due to the impact, a year and a half later, I was in a hospital, having my twisted fallopian tube removed. The things that were said and experienced from that moment have stuck with me, and I desire to share them with you. As a fourteen year old, I remember there being an intense focus on my fertility and birthing chances. It is important here to examine the intersections of race, perceived class and gender identity when looking at womanness and motherhood. I remember my OB/GYN telling me that if I wasn’t married by 28, I should consider freezing my eggs, because my fertility could not be determined from the trauma. She also was concerned about the difficulty of my non-existent pregnancy thanks to the way my body repaired itself after the car accident. As a fourteen year old, I remember thinking, is my destiny motherhood?