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Facebook request from an abusive ex

I got a Facebook friend request from an ex the other day.  Normally, I have a policy of saying yes to such requests, provided you’re someone I actually know.  I figure that if I recognize your name, and you want to be my friend, I’ll give it a shot.  So far it’s worked out okay (although I have unfriended a couple of people).  The only exception I’ve made was a cousin who is extremely religious and extremely conservative, and I did that mostly because I think we’ll get along much better if we’re not reading one another’s thoughts on Facebook.  Several of my exes are on Facebook, and it’s never really been a thing.

But this particular ex was both emotionally and physically abusive.  She sent me a long note along with the friend request, essentially saying that she’s worked really hard to be a better person, is sorry for being so horrible to me, and wishes me and my family all the best.  This is not the first time I’ve gotten that sort of message, but the last time around, it wasn’t long after the abuse, and her message was all about her, and didn’t really seem like she understood just how abusive she’d been.  This time, it’s been almost 20 years, and it seemed like she really got it, and was really authentically sorry.

In the end, I’m inclined to send back a nice note, but not friend her.  How, exactly, do I ...

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