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Recently I bought “Holy Sex: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving” by Gregory K. Popcack, PH.D. It is a gift for my recently married cousin, but I read it for myself as a representative piece on Catholic sex.

A very large part of the book is repeatedly dispelling the notion that Catholicism is anti-sex or anti-pleasure. Popcack explores some of the thinking that results in anti-sex attitudes, or separates sex and spirituality, and explains why it is non-catholic. Chastity is not the complete repression of sex, but rather the ability to control sexual urges until the appropriate time.

In the book Popcack describes what he calls “Holy Sex”, sometimes contrasting it to “eroticism”. As per chapter 2: Holy sex is “very pleasurable, driven by intimacy and arousal, overcomes shame, works for the good of the other, welcomes children, shares the whole self, more joyful and vital with time, gives life and health.” Meanwhile Eroticism, is also very pleasurable but is “driven solely by arousal, causes shame, uses the other, fears children, withholds the self, more stagnant and boring with time (like a drug) and brings disease and death”. Achieving Holy Sex requires improvements to one’s character and the relationship with one’s spouse. This means Love (self donative), responsibility (self discipline and stewardship), Intimacy, Cooperation, Joy, and personhood. From chapter 3 conclusion “Gentiality is an important aspect of sexuality, but the authentic sexuality expressed by Holy Sex is about taking full advantage of every ...