Elsbeth

America’s “The Beautiful”

A poem by: Elsbeth Poe

Closing your eyes
You hear a blonde
With blue eyes
American born and raised
California Valley girl
One nation, “Oh my God!”
Where women are invisible
Without a body deemed pleasant for all

You have no excuse
The sun’s up there to lighten your hair
To darken your skin
“Why are you staying in?”
“Reading Sci-fi? Is that like Twilight?”
A mind full of worlds of fantasy
Where I went to escape this society

When other girls were in bikinis
I was in shorts down to my knees
Hiding thighs I felt ashamed by
Sucking in my belly and chin
Before I reached the age of ten

With numbers jumbling in my head
Given constant reminders
Of how dumb I was then
School meant stress
And tests
All those systems
Based on competition
Made my insides squeeze
Confidence was something foreign
I could not achieve

Words like “ugly” and “stupid”
Inducing tear soaked knees
Or was my hazy brain and pain
From the lack of food in my stomach those days
For years I continued to throw it away
While my girlfriends would eat and eat all day
The same amount was weight I’d gain

“You should go out for dance or swim!”
Full of formfitting uniforms I was made fun of in

Maybe that’s why I have a soft spot
For all our patriotic jiggly kids
Especially round little girls
In a man driven world
Of “achieve and succeed”
Led to believe