Posts Written by nikki

Dealing with a feminist awakening

At 25 years old I am just beginning to call myself a feminist. My journey started when I read this article put out by GOOD magazine last year about the new “subway grinding” law in New York. Before I read this article I had never questioned the times that men would cat call me on street, or stare at me for way too long on the train. I didnt even question the two times Ive seen men publicly masturbating while looking at me on the train, I would just freeze and switch train cars as soon as possible. I would just have feelings of disgust and fear of being assaulted. I had never questioned this fear.

Reading that article was like a slap in the face of my whole being. Why had I not thought about this before? Suddenly I was faced with the reality that my body was not mine in the eyes of (many) men.

I needed to know more…make more connections. This lead me to read Jessica Valenti and Jacklyn Friedman’s Yes means Yes, Caitlin Moran’s How to be a Woman and most recently Valenti’s The Purity Myth.

Reading these books has profoundly shifted my perception of my sexuality and sexual history. I have been able to (painfully) admit to myself that a few of my sexual experiences with men has been against my will…I didnt say no, but I didnt say YES either. I have been able to admit to myself that the porn which has turned ...