What I learned about misogyny from standing outside a Donald Trump rally

Last month, Donald Trump held a rally in a city near me. I decided to attend the protest of his rally, and bring my 4-year-old son. For the first time, I experienced myself what I’ve been reading about so much this election season: The sentiments inspired by Mr. Trump’s campaign are anger, hate, bigotry, and hostility. Specifically, the level of misogyny at Donald Trump rallies is frightening.

Our demonstration and march were carefully planned and properly permitted, in accordance with city guidelines. We had a police liaison to facilitate appropriate communication between City Police and protesters, we were clearly instructed by event organizers NOT to engage with Trump supporters even if provoked, to remain within designated protest areas, and to remain nonviolent at all times, and everyone in our group of nearly 200 adhered to these rules peacefully and respectfully.

The response we received from Trump rally attendees was anything but peaceful and respectful. As attendees filed in to the event, they sneered and jeered. One woman stood at the door for 15 minutes waiting to be let in, and managed to hold up her two middle fingers at protesters across the street the entire time. That takes a lot of arm strength. They say, hate takes a lot of effort.

Dozens of Trump rally attendees, on their way to get on line to enter the event, yelled and screamed “PUSSIES!” and “FUCK YOU!” at us, ringing over our chants. Some screamed “BUILD THE WALL!” – at least an attempt to make a connection to Trump’s political ideas. But most of the insults hurled were not at all relevant to political policy—they were simply rooted in misogyny, disrespect, and hatefulness.

Most memorably, on our march back around the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, NY, a man on his way to the Trump rally chose to make his path on the sidewalk directly through our group of 200 marchers. I was towards the front of the march, clutching the sweaty hand of my 4-year-old, and the man’s approach was fast and frightening. “Pussy motherfuckers!” He barreled through the line of protesters, banging his chest into the woman marching next to me, pushing her sign up against her. “Pussy!” he screamed in her face. It looked like a chest bump between two burly athletes on a sports field after a tough win, but she was clearly not ready for it. She stumbled backwards, took a minute to regain her composure, tried to fix her bent sign, and kept marching. He treated us like we were all on a football team, suited up with helmets and pads, and ready for the game. But we weren’t. We had children with us. Elderly with us. Disabled with us. We were a group of nonviolent, peaceful people, not expecting such violence. The police stood in their neat line, broad shoulders, hands folded in front, black sunglasses, and did nothing.

I think the most common word I heard used by Trump rally attendees was “Pussy.” It is a gendered word that carries the connotation of ‘weak,’ ‘inferior,’ and ‘pathetic’ in association with a body part owned by not all, but many, women. Therefore it is a means of demeaning women and wielding power over women. In this case, it was accompanied by a infliction of pain upon a woman’s body.

It’s clear, by listening to the tone of voice and the way these young men supporting Trump literally plow into the bodies of unsuspecting, peaceful females in their path, that these young men truly hate women. Their views towards women rest upon their capability of physical conquest of her body. Being a “real man” means controlling and disrespecting her. That’s Trumpian misogyny at its finest. In fact, Mr. Trump’s entire macho campaign hinges upon the notion that Obama was a “pussy” who should have been “harder” and “tougher” on ISIS—and I suppose Trump would like to see this masculine strength taken out in the form of an atomic bomb, or World War III. Mr. Trump mocks menstruation, believes that rape is a woman’s fault, and has led a campaign that rests upon belittling and devaluing women for the very reason that they are women.

My son did most of the chants with us, and for the most part, understood what they meant. “Hey hey, ho ho! Donald Trump has got to go!” and “Racist, sexist, anti-gay! Donald Trump, go away!” are all things he understands. But there was one word he didn’t know.

As the protesters chanted “Hey hey, ho ho! Misogyny has got to go!” I felt a little tug on my arm.

“Mommy, what does ‘misogyny’ mean?” he asked.

“Son, it means to hate women, to treat women badly, to be prejudiced against women,” I stumbled over my words trying to come up with a definition.

He looked sad.

“Why?” he asked.

And that, I do not know.