Embracing Age

“I’m 29 + 13!”

“Today is my 29th birthday! Again!”

“I refuse to get old.”

You probably have a friend who has said something to this effect. She doesn’t accept that she is 30 or 45 or 62. Rather, each year on her birthday, she insists on being “29 forever!” Or maybe the person making these declarations is you.

Please, stop.

One of the reasons women have an ageism problem in this country is our own individual refusal to embrace and celebrate age, whatever the number happens to be. We have a responsibility to ourselves, our friends, our partners, our mothers and sisters, our children and students, to change the damaging narrative that women aren’t allowed to age. In a nation obsessed with youth, women should stand up and proudly embrace our ages as the mark of endurance, wisdom, and hard-won experience.

Sixteen year old girls think 30-year-olds are ancient. I know I did when I was sixteen. But then my Grandma Helen told me that her favorite age was 40 because she was still young enough to have energy for new adventures, but she was old enough to have the wisdom to avoid dumb mistakes. I have always remembered that conversation. And when I turned 40, I suddenly understood what she meant.

Let the teenagers deny their own mortality. We all did it and that’s okay. Consider it a right of passage. But those of us who are on the flip side of 40 need to do a much better job fighting the national narrative that denies women the right to age. Enough, ladies!

When your birthday comes around, and your friends start writing on your Facebook page, please resist the urge to deny the length, depth, and breadth of your life’s extraordinary experiences. You are not 29. You will not be 29 forever. You are 32 or 45 or 57 or 72. You are vital, alive, worthy of respect, and have earned the right to warmly declare your real age.

We can change this youth-obsessed society if we all agree to embrace our current age. We have the power to change this story together.