Don’t Congratulate People for “Beating” Teen Pregnancy

A couple weeks ago, I turned 20. This was a big day for me – I’ve always been one of the youngest in my grade and class, so it nice to no longer consider myself a teenager. One of my well-meaning co-workers decided to congratulate me, on my special day, for “beating” teen pregnancy.

When I was 15 years old, I was in an abusive relationship with an older boy. It was a horrible time in my life – he isolated me from my friends and family and made me feel like he was the only one capable of loving me. This relationship resulted in an unintended pregnancy.

I decided that I wanted to have an abortion. But, I was in denial for weeks and terrified to tell my mom. And the longer you wait, the more expensive abortions become – the procedure ended up costing $1,000. And insurance doesn’t cover abortions.

And this is what I ended up thinking about on my 20th birthday.

I did not “beat” teen pregnancy. I was a pregnant teen. I chose to not become a teen parent because I knew that having a child was not something that I wanted. But becoming a parent isn’t something that everyone wants, no matter their age! That is not the choice everyone makes.

I was lucky that I even had a choice. When I told my mom, she was furious, but supportive. I was able to make the decision that was best for me. Not everyone has this luxury.

Labeling teen pregnancy and parenting is something to “beat” is bullshit. I have seen several of my high school peers become incredible, loving, and strong parents. Teens that choose to become parents, whether it was planned or not, did not lose at something. And I did not lose at something either.

When your friends turn 20, don’t congratulate them on “beating” teen pregnancy. You may have no idea about something that they went through. Teen pregnancy is not something to beat – saying that it is, is shaming very real situations that young people face.